Spy

Do you know how often I revisit
The times of yore, and reconsider?
Do you know how often I spy,
When you are unknowing, in deep in slumber?

Do you know how often I go to your profile,
Once again, and peep at memories,
Staring back at me, I know I cannot change it, I’m puerile,
But I still go back, to you, to all we were.

I spy those pictures that we took carelessly,
Those moments frozen in half smiles,
Light hearted and just so carefree,
Those moments were so important, even my camera didn’t know then.

I try to visit your profile, to see what you do,
I shouldn’t be spying this much, but I’m just
So obsessed with you, I cannot stop myself,
Oh what do I do? I just cannot get rid of you!

I spy you everywhere, yes I do,
Every little strand of memory that holds you,
I clutch at you greedily, even if I don’t have a right to,
Because it has ended in air of finality.

Then why is it that I refuse to believe?
Why do I delude myself, disbelieve?
Why am I so caught up, why do I step behind,
Why can’t I move forward, why am I stuck in quagmire?

Oh, why do I spy like that, when I know you don’t want to answer,
When I know you consider me someone evil,
But please, I beg you now, I don’t want to just spy,
I want you to talk, my angel, I want you back!!

4:40 pm, 13th January, 2010.