Dumb

I have known to be obsessive over trivial things,
I take things to heart, magnifying,
I’m nobody great, nobody intelligent,
Little and timid, I am just me.

But there used to be times when I thought that wasn’t enough,
When I felt that I wasn’t enough too,
And those were the times when I relied on my seraph,
I would confide in you.

Exam time, when I was stressed,
Anxious, tensed and so depressed,
I would call to you, and complain,
I’m just so dumb, I would say.

Yes, I’m still so dumb, I don’t get physics,
I cry over problems when no one’s looking,
I’m fed up with the way my brain functions,
I want it to stay intelligent and rational.

Aha, but so many things plague it now,
Depressions, guilt and pricking anxiety,
And as they scream for help over again,
I wish that you could be here with me.

Holding my hand, making me see sense,
Telling me that nothing was wrong when
It actually was. And giving me that extra strength
To fight harder, to hold on.

Showing me that life was not as bad as it was meant to be,
That there was nothing possibly wrong with me,
My outlook was pessimistic,
But you knew how to make life look like a masterpiece.

I have an exam tomorrow; I have tried to study,
I have tried to concentrate, with all my heart,
And I feel Dumb again, although I’ve tried,
Nothing seems to be correct, this is futile.

Where do I seek help now, you tell me?
It’s not a teacher I require, its emotional support.
It’s not the understanding, it’s the confidence,
Which is lacking in me, since the day you left.

Help this soul; you are the only one, who can,
Make me light up, and take it in my stride,
Make me feel like nothing is impossible,
Is that asking too much, or too little?

I’m sorry!! I’m sorry! I cannot survive,
Without your support, your wonderful advise,
You were awesome; you were more than a friend,
In my life, you made a profound difference.

So I pray…..help me…….Come back. Without your advise, my rational thought can't survive...

11:31 am, 24th January, 2010.