Hapless as wistful tale of broken chord, unborn,
My soul doth travel, forsaken and encumbered,
By a phantom memory that creeps, stealthy, yet unhindered,
Through mine blinded windows, in its seething despair, my sensibility doth warn.
In crumbling autumnal maples, my soul beseeches to reach thy deep tawny,
A Rare brown showeth their intricate dance, but they match thy curious eye not,
Hazel, coffee and flaming amber, thy specialty have but ephemerally caught
Maroon, Auburn and pale ginger, shan’t ever be as severe as thy vivid near-mahogany….
Delirium doth descend, it is slow a chant,
So wild is the tendency, love, dually strong and tender,
In me is born the shy riddler,
All is now an incoherent stupor.
But in between the lines, you shall find,
An apology written with determined a hand,
Although cunning impatience had plagued,
Unforgiven poetess decided to write a hundred.
In life-blood it had written for thee,
Poems, not just a three,
A hundred, it hath reached century,
Lament hath reached the inflamed skies, the soul is sorry!
It has burned in pure a flame,
Has been toy to guilt’s hungry teeth,
Writing fingers have been fevered by passion
You have turned haunting inspiration.
So, today, the writer sanctifies,
In her words, you shall be idolized,
And as her sorry, she proclaims,
Forgiveness, she seeks, with remorse, intense.
She’s written you a hundred, staying up midnights,
Hoping that thou shall bless the blinded eyes, show it some light,
May you shine upon the unforgiven poetess that is me,
And cure her of her agony.
There have been but a hundred songs, which have in different ways screeched,
The singular word, repeating,
A sorry is all they say, each and every one,
Please, friend, will you forgive me?
In Between
Between the raging seas and the thunderstorm,
Between the gales, and the swarm,
In between, the seas, saline,
And the dark, sinister ravine.
In between, pain and happiness,
Pain in remorse,
And happiness in remembering memories,
In between, in between, in between.
I’m here, in between,
Not knowing where to go,
I’m here, in between,
Lingering here, unseen.
Clogged is my memory, full of your thoughts,
I’m feeling so unsought,
But you know, I’m really sorry,
Please don’t be angry.
I’ve understood today, and I’m unafraid,
I put it here on paper, I confess my mistakes,
I shall try to mend your heart, even if nothing is okay,
This is all I’d like to say.
I do not know whether my efforts will pay off,
I don’t even know whether you will be listening to my words,
But all I know, is that in my heart,
I’m so sorry, even if we are a world apart.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,
And I have sung, more than a ninety three,
So please, do forgive,
Please don’t let me stay here, caught in between….
11:04 pm, 31st January, 2010.
Between the gales, and the swarm,
In between, the seas, saline,
And the dark, sinister ravine.
In between, pain and happiness,
Pain in remorse,
And happiness in remembering memories,
In between, in between, in between.
I’m here, in between,
Not knowing where to go,
I’m here, in between,
Lingering here, unseen.
Clogged is my memory, full of your thoughts,
I’m feeling so unsought,
But you know, I’m really sorry,
Please don’t be angry.
I’ve understood today, and I’m unafraid,
I put it here on paper, I confess my mistakes,
I shall try to mend your heart, even if nothing is okay,
This is all I’d like to say.
I do not know whether my efforts will pay off,
I don’t even know whether you will be listening to my words,
But all I know, is that in my heart,
I’m so sorry, even if we are a world apart.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,
And I have sung, more than a ninety three,
So please, do forgive,
Please don’t let me stay here, caught in between….
11:04 pm, 31st January, 2010.
Burning Candle
On burns the taper,
And infant turns playful,
As the shadows flicker,
He touches the candle.
As finger finds the flame,
The little kid exclaims,
The blue tongue has scorched,
And he catches a blister.
Why, he reasons, did I venture?
“Because life was meant to be an adventure”
Quick comes the answer,
It belongs only in fairytales, the happily ever after.
It is easy to see from the innocent child’s point of view,
But did anyone else see through?
There is something called the candle,
Which now sobs, for hurting the angel.
The candle wanted to prevent,
And it now repents,
For the assault, for the abuse,
On the child who was unknowing, who had just been amused.
So sweet was the child, it was attracted,
To the sickly, glimmering flame,
Don’t stay here, please go away,
Said the flame on many occasions, but the child had stayed.
And see, in the end, the child got hurt,
And the flame can’t remain inert,
It was in the candle’s sickly nature,
To hurt the other.
But the candle now prefers,
To melt instead of to hurt,
It now reasons,
It would rather be extinguished than cause blisters.
10:53 pm, 31st January, 2010.
And infant turns playful,
As the shadows flicker,
He touches the candle.
As finger finds the flame,
The little kid exclaims,
The blue tongue has scorched,
And he catches a blister.
Why, he reasons, did I venture?
“Because life was meant to be an adventure”
Quick comes the answer,
It belongs only in fairytales, the happily ever after.
It is easy to see from the innocent child’s point of view,
But did anyone else see through?
There is something called the candle,
Which now sobs, for hurting the angel.
The candle wanted to prevent,
And it now repents,
For the assault, for the abuse,
On the child who was unknowing, who had just been amused.
So sweet was the child, it was attracted,
To the sickly, glimmering flame,
Don’t stay here, please go away,
Said the flame on many occasions, but the child had stayed.
And see, in the end, the child got hurt,
And the flame can’t remain inert,
It was in the candle’s sickly nature,
To hurt the other.
But the candle now prefers,
To melt instead of to hurt,
It now reasons,
It would rather be extinguished than cause blisters.
10:53 pm, 31st January, 2010.
Empty
There is nothing where there once was,
Answer is simple, it is because,
I had been the cause,
OF a disaster, the guilt now gnaws.
There is nothing where there once was,
And the complete picture became jigsaw,
I guess nobody foresaw,
Such an end, and I became an outlaw.
Empty it is now, which was once filled,
The heart that had once, thrilled,
Like a very well disguised banquet,
Among roses, thorns hiding, in between.
Empty it is now, so void,
Empty, so devoid,
The tongue that once had lied,
You now, consciously avoid.
It was filled to the brim then,
But it was me, who had dampened,
Your spirits, so you had left,
Empty became everything, it felt like a theft.
But you were no thief,
It had all occurred naturally,
When burns on the candle,
It melts into itself.
It’s like a that lone candle now, melting,
Shining so bright, but also softening,
True, it is burning,
But one day shall be gone the light, and it shall be empty.
Empty, and so inane,
Sometimes, it feels pointless,
But there is a point to so long a song,
In it hides the remorse.
Please, will you forgive me?
Answer is simple, it is because,
I had been the cause,
OF a disaster, the guilt now gnaws.
There is nothing where there once was,
And the complete picture became jigsaw,
I guess nobody foresaw,
Such an end, and I became an outlaw.
Empty it is now, which was once filled,
The heart that had once, thrilled,
Like a very well disguised banquet,
Among roses, thorns hiding, in between.
Empty it is now, so void,
Empty, so devoid,
The tongue that once had lied,
You now, consciously avoid.
It was filled to the brim then,
But it was me, who had dampened,
Your spirits, so you had left,
Empty became everything, it felt like a theft.
But you were no thief,
It had all occurred naturally,
When burns on the candle,
It melts into itself.
It’s like a that lone candle now, melting,
Shining so bright, but also softening,
True, it is burning,
But one day shall be gone the light, and it shall be empty.
Empty, and so inane,
Sometimes, it feels pointless,
But there is a point to so long a song,
In it hides the remorse.
Please, will you forgive me?
Don't Resent Me
I’ve seen my fair share,
Of hurt, mistakes I’ve made,
And so much guilt with me, I carry
In the end, don’t resent me.
Because I’m trying, I really am,
So hard, now.
I know I have acted crazy,
But please don’t resent me.
Life sometimes turns crappy,
Sometimes, we act so bossy,
Yes, we also bully,
But try not to resent me.
I know I have been unfair,
I know, I am aware,
Of all the hurt I caused, but I have tried to repair,
So please don’t resent me.
It is very difficult, I know, I can feel the sting you feel,
I know, behind a straight face, you conceal,
Behind that façade, is that cauldron,
In hurt, boiling.
I know, I know, I comprehend,
The full wrath of my actions,
I’ve done my round of bad deeds, I’ve been a devil,
But please….try not to resent me.
I’m human friend, I made a tremendous mistake,
And that’s why I’m trying to correct it,
One poem at a time,
For you, I have rhymed at 10:29 pm.
10:29 pm, 31st January, 2010.
Of hurt, mistakes I’ve made,
And so much guilt with me, I carry
In the end, don’t resent me.
Because I’m trying, I really am,
So hard, now.
I know I have acted crazy,
But please don’t resent me.
Life sometimes turns crappy,
Sometimes, we act so bossy,
Yes, we also bully,
But try not to resent me.
I know I have been unfair,
I know, I am aware,
Of all the hurt I caused, but I have tried to repair,
So please don’t resent me.
It is very difficult, I know, I can feel the sting you feel,
I know, behind a straight face, you conceal,
Behind that façade, is that cauldron,
In hurt, boiling.
I know, I know, I comprehend,
The full wrath of my actions,
I’ve done my round of bad deeds, I’ve been a devil,
But please….try not to resent me.
I’m human friend, I made a tremendous mistake,
And that’s why I’m trying to correct it,
One poem at a time,
For you, I have rhymed at 10:29 pm.
10:29 pm, 31st January, 2010.
93
It’s an apology, the ninety-third,
From the one who has erred,
I don’t want to be misheard,
So I pray you listen.
There has been a mistake,
I don’t want to be friends, just for the namesake,
It’s genuine, my remorse,
And I know, my sorry is kind of coarse.
I’ve tried my best to make it really big,
In the process I have gathered
Many wonderful followers,
And they have been aiding.
I’ve tried so hard, to build,
The best sorry there is,
For my best friend, I’ll do anything,
A hundred more songs, if you desire, I’ll sing.
I called for the songbird, just for you,
So on my words, you may chew,
And finally come to know,
That I didn’t intend to be so shallow.
Ninety third screech, and it’s the last day of the month,
And great things, the journey has unearthed,
My thoughts have found expression,
But my best friend, hasn’t returned…..
Come back please, all mistakes have been realized,
And all errors, I’ve tried to correct,
Come back, please, now cry mine eyes,
For you friend,…..to come back.
10:21 pm, 31st January, 2010.
From the one who has erred,
I don’t want to be misheard,
So I pray you listen.
There has been a mistake,
I don’t want to be friends, just for the namesake,
It’s genuine, my remorse,
And I know, my sorry is kind of coarse.
I’ve tried my best to make it really big,
In the process I have gathered
Many wonderful followers,
And they have been aiding.
I’ve tried so hard, to build,
The best sorry there is,
For my best friend, I’ll do anything,
A hundred more songs, if you desire, I’ll sing.
I called for the songbird, just for you,
So on my words, you may chew,
And finally come to know,
That I didn’t intend to be so shallow.
Ninety third screech, and it’s the last day of the month,
And great things, the journey has unearthed,
My thoughts have found expression,
But my best friend, hasn’t returned…..
Come back please, all mistakes have been realized,
And all errors, I’ve tried to correct,
Come back, please, now cry mine eyes,
For you friend,…..to come back.
10:21 pm, 31st January, 2010.
Sunflower's Story
Sunflower once thrived on summer rain,
She found nourishment on Indian soil,
And as she grew she obtained,
Lots of love from the sun, who sustained.
Sunflower followed sun everywhere,
His movements, observing, everyday,
Responsive was she, extremely dutiful,
Because, nourishment from the sun, she drew.
When sun would set, she would droop,
And when he awoke, she would too,
When he danced, she thrilled,
When he laughed, she giggled.
When he shone, she turned brilliant,
And under his reign, she was illuminated,
So devoted was the sunflower,
The fiery god, she revered.
When gusty the afternoons turned, and the sun disappeared,
Behind ghastly clouds, when it was all unclear,
Anxious would turn the sunflower,
And she’d never sleep until the storm was over.
She looked to the sun, every morn,
Admiring him from afar,
Even though he ruled the skies, and she was one of many,
She adored him, even if insignificant she seemed.
The sun had choices, there were many sunflowers,
In fields spread out, all across the world,
Sunflowers were many, but there was only one sun,
And special to her, the sun had become.
The sunflower actually never believed,
That the sun would choose her, over so many,
But the sun moved away, before she could find out,
He had befriended the murky clouds.
It was easy for the sun, to go away,
But without him life wasn’t the same,
The sunflower knew only dismay,
Without the warmth of the sun, she withered away.
10:10 pm, 31st January, 2010.
She found nourishment on Indian soil,
And as she grew she obtained,
Lots of love from the sun, who sustained.
Sunflower followed sun everywhere,
His movements, observing, everyday,
Responsive was she, extremely dutiful,
Because, nourishment from the sun, she drew.
When sun would set, she would droop,
And when he awoke, she would too,
When he danced, she thrilled,
When he laughed, she giggled.
When he shone, she turned brilliant,
And under his reign, she was illuminated,
So devoted was the sunflower,
The fiery god, she revered.
When gusty the afternoons turned, and the sun disappeared,
Behind ghastly clouds, when it was all unclear,
Anxious would turn the sunflower,
And she’d never sleep until the storm was over.
She looked to the sun, every morn,
Admiring him from afar,
Even though he ruled the skies, and she was one of many,
She adored him, even if insignificant she seemed.
The sun had choices, there were many sunflowers,
In fields spread out, all across the world,
Sunflowers were many, but there was only one sun,
And special to her, the sun had become.
The sunflower actually never believed,
That the sun would choose her, over so many,
But the sun moved away, before she could find out,
He had befriended the murky clouds.
It was easy for the sun, to go away,
But without him life wasn’t the same,
The sunflower knew only dismay,
Without the warmth of the sun, she withered away.
10:10 pm, 31st January, 2010.
Recital
A sincere storyteller now recites,
The tale of two friends, and magnificent lies,
They were like twins, till one betrayed,
And then, evanesced the other, like snow in May.
Oh, but cold is not the heart, m’dear,
It still understands,
Clever it is, it now adheres,
The narcissism is gone, the confidence quivers.
But you know it’s been some time,
More than three months now,
And this one feels a fear,
But, unfeeling, is the other?
Spontaneous is the reaction,
Why isn’t it the same with you?
Saddened is this one,
Why don’t you feel it too?
Like a glimmer, but nothing sparked,
Like a flare, which was extinguished,
Like a friendship, tenuous, slipping away,
Like the end of another day.
Like serpent killed, in its egg,
Like we never reached the last leg,
Like melody that never found voice,
Like someone quit, by choice.
The fault was with this one, but who should decide?
The apt punishment, and cut a gap so wide?
When did it arise,
The barrier, This deep divide?
You know, the hurt doesn’t subside,
Because so much happiness, you did provide,
And today, I cannot hide,
The remorse I feel, cannot untie.
9:51 pm, 31st January, 2010.
The tale of two friends, and magnificent lies,
They were like twins, till one betrayed,
And then, evanesced the other, like snow in May.
Oh, but cold is not the heart, m’dear,
It still understands,
Clever it is, it now adheres,
The narcissism is gone, the confidence quivers.
But you know it’s been some time,
More than three months now,
And this one feels a fear,
But, unfeeling, is the other?
Spontaneous is the reaction,
Why isn’t it the same with you?
Saddened is this one,
Why don’t you feel it too?
Like a glimmer, but nothing sparked,
Like a flare, which was extinguished,
Like a friendship, tenuous, slipping away,
Like the end of another day.
Like serpent killed, in its egg,
Like we never reached the last leg,
Like melody that never found voice,
Like someone quit, by choice.
The fault was with this one, but who should decide?
The apt punishment, and cut a gap so wide?
When did it arise,
The barrier, This deep divide?
You know, the hurt doesn’t subside,
Because so much happiness, you did provide,
And today, I cannot hide,
The remorse I feel, cannot untie.
9:51 pm, 31st January, 2010.
Mute
Mute are voices unheard,
The silent bird this way turns,
Overcome, downtrodden, it quietly mutters
A sorry, for you to hear.
Mute you are, mum and soundless,
Even when voice, to your tongue, reaches,
You force it back down and don’t even speak,
Silent you remain, you seal your lips.
When you aren’t talking, do you know how it feels?
It’s like the grim incantation is sounded, something is unleashed,
I have no strength to endure, so I fall in,
To the power of this witchery, succumbing.
It seems you talked yesterday,
To one of my friends,
And you told that person many things,
But you forgot your best friend….
Please don’t be mute, please speak up!
Never stop the talk,
Continue, I want to hear,
I will, for you, stay right here.
Don’t be mute, so irresolute,
You have no idea, how much I miss you!
Please, I’m on my knees, begging you,
Come back please, don’t be mute!
The apology, is the 90th one,
And there are but 10 more,
Oh, what is it, that I should make?
To make the unwilling heart speak?
Open your mouth now, let your voice escape,
May it reach me, I await.
Oh, please, now, let your heart melt,
I cannot endure the punishment!
9:33 pm, 31st January, 2010.
The silent bird this way turns,
Overcome, downtrodden, it quietly mutters
A sorry, for you to hear.
Mute you are, mum and soundless,
Even when voice, to your tongue, reaches,
You force it back down and don’t even speak,
Silent you remain, you seal your lips.
When you aren’t talking, do you know how it feels?
It’s like the grim incantation is sounded, something is unleashed,
I have no strength to endure, so I fall in,
To the power of this witchery, succumbing.
It seems you talked yesterday,
To one of my friends,
And you told that person many things,
But you forgot your best friend….
Please don’t be mute, please speak up!
Never stop the talk,
Continue, I want to hear,
I will, for you, stay right here.
Don’t be mute, so irresolute,
You have no idea, how much I miss you!
Please, I’m on my knees, begging you,
Come back please, don’t be mute!
The apology, is the 90th one,
And there are but 10 more,
Oh, what is it, that I should make?
To make the unwilling heart speak?
Open your mouth now, let your voice escape,
May it reach me, I await.
Oh, please, now, let your heart melt,
I cannot endure the punishment!
9:33 pm, 31st January, 2010.
Were
Allied, with much in common,
Best of friends they were,
It took but happy company to enliven,
But that was when they were.
There is no “is” anymore, it’s all a were,
A “were”, a “were” a “we were”
Where did it go, where did it disappear?
All the fun, and much good cheer?
Hapless it has now turned, and sad songs, I utter,
Vivid proclamations of honesty, just to make others believe,
But you know, in the bottom of my heart, I know,
There is no is, when there is only a were.
Why does it only have to be in the past?
Why do these things never last?
All I want, is a wonderful friendship,
To go back to all that we were.
I had been so exultant back then,
Flying away, like an unstrained kite,
Going with the herd, so careless,
But now, I do realize.
Aha, the mistake was humongous,
I’m really sorry, nothing can outlast,
My misery, my growing remorse,
Until you forgive me o’ course, and we can go back, to all we were.
I promise you that I’ll prove myself to be a better friend,
Than anybody has ever been,
I will do anything,
To bring that stolen happiness, back to you.
6:00 pm, 30th January, 2010.
Best of friends they were,
It took but happy company to enliven,
But that was when they were.
There is no “is” anymore, it’s all a were,
A “were”, a “were” a “we were”
Where did it go, where did it disappear?
All the fun, and much good cheer?
Hapless it has now turned, and sad songs, I utter,
Vivid proclamations of honesty, just to make others believe,
But you know, in the bottom of my heart, I know,
There is no is, when there is only a were.
Why does it only have to be in the past?
Why do these things never last?
All I want, is a wonderful friendship,
To go back to all that we were.
I had been so exultant back then,
Flying away, like an unstrained kite,
Going with the herd, so careless,
But now, I do realize.
Aha, the mistake was humongous,
I’m really sorry, nothing can outlast,
My misery, my growing remorse,
Until you forgive me o’ course, and we can go back, to all we were.
I promise you that I’ll prove myself to be a better friend,
Than anybody has ever been,
I will do anything,
To bring that stolen happiness, back to you.
6:00 pm, 30th January, 2010.
Letter
May I write you another letter?
In green ink, would that make you feel better?
May I write to you once again?
The sorry, that never came?
May I write? May that be an elixir,
I’ve tried to be quick, but I should be even quicker,
My swords of words, are now ancient,
And jaded, is the blade.
I request you to bury those other words, which hurt caused,
I have these ones, which shall make you feel much better,
Words, spoken cannot be withdrawn,
But know that there are others, which conjures, my wand.
Hang on now, and look at the stars,
In friendly company, turn benevolent,
Careless, in joyous disregard,
Will you dance with me, friend, and let it go?
Look at the world now, it’s so beautiful!
Look at experiences, so colorful,
And in teenage, a passing a fantasy,
There is so much to understand, when you are growing!
I know, I know, many things are inexact,
But you know, life is never perfect,
And if you just say that one word,
Maybe we can move on, into brighter a world.
We could be happy again, befriended,
Please come back, don’t be offended,
Mistakes, we all make, we’re human like that,
Please don’t go away, it will break my heart.
5:48 pm, 30th January, 2010.
In green ink, would that make you feel better?
May I write to you once again?
The sorry, that never came?
May I write? May that be an elixir,
I’ve tried to be quick, but I should be even quicker,
My swords of words, are now ancient,
And jaded, is the blade.
I request you to bury those other words, which hurt caused,
I have these ones, which shall make you feel much better,
Words, spoken cannot be withdrawn,
But know that there are others, which conjures, my wand.
Hang on now, and look at the stars,
In friendly company, turn benevolent,
Careless, in joyous disregard,
Will you dance with me, friend, and let it go?
Look at the world now, it’s so beautiful!
Look at experiences, so colorful,
And in teenage, a passing a fantasy,
There is so much to understand, when you are growing!
I know, I know, many things are inexact,
But you know, life is never perfect,
And if you just say that one word,
Maybe we can move on, into brighter a world.
We could be happy again, befriended,
Please come back, don’t be offended,
Mistakes, we all make, we’re human like that,
Please don’t go away, it will break my heart.
5:48 pm, 30th January, 2010.
Tangled
Confused, enchantress had once turned,
When experiences hadn’t been simple,
Her truths turned majestic abominations,
Her life’s twists, became convolutions, inexplicable.
Tangled they were, very badly,
She couldn’t classify feelings, they were coiled,
But that just didn’t mean,
That ungrateful was she.
She was so worried, actually,
You only know one side of the story,
Wellaway, the rest is unaddressed,
The world, is just as perplexed.
Wanion, by ill misfortune,
The tongue had lied, and very soon,
Lost was it, the sweet bond,
Cut so deep, intellect, conned.
The truth is, I don’t know why I did what I did,
Was it just pride or something else?
But I’m sorry friend, really really sorry!!
I realize now, I shouldn’t have!
My emotions were coiled, maybe I should have disconnected,
And then maybe, I wouldn’t have acted,
So horrible, maybe, oh! Please give me…
Another chance….I don’t want to live in ‘maybe’s.
5:36 pm, 30th january, 2010.
When experiences hadn’t been simple,
Her truths turned majestic abominations,
Her life’s twists, became convolutions, inexplicable.
Tangled they were, very badly,
She couldn’t classify feelings, they were coiled,
But that just didn’t mean,
That ungrateful was she.
She was so worried, actually,
You only know one side of the story,
Wellaway, the rest is unaddressed,
The world, is just as perplexed.
Wanion, by ill misfortune,
The tongue had lied, and very soon,
Lost was it, the sweet bond,
Cut so deep, intellect, conned.
The truth is, I don’t know why I did what I did,
Was it just pride or something else?
But I’m sorry friend, really really sorry!!
I realize now, I shouldn’t have!
My emotions were coiled, maybe I should have disconnected,
And then maybe, I wouldn’t have acted,
So horrible, maybe, oh! Please give me…
Another chance….I don’t want to live in ‘maybe’s.
5:36 pm, 30th january, 2010.
And may the rest be damned
Happiness, strength and meaning to existence,
Sorries in riddles, and so much repentance,
Learning to be human, and remorse to type,
And may the rest, be damned.
I’m not inflamed, nor am I vengeful,
I don’t play games anymore, I’m not that kind of girl,
I don’t wish to harm others, I care a lot,
But you know, sometimes, I’ll say…
May the rest be damned.
May it be damned, all the stupid troubles,
Life doesn’t have to be so complicated,
Anoint the burns, and tear the pages,
May hurt go up in flames, bury the frustration.
Kill all the jealousy, the awful emotion,
Stop the lying tongue, and go back soon,
Damn the horrible, unhealthy depressions,
Scream wimme, let the rest find damnation.
So, yeah, throw knives,
At sorrow, and kick up the dirt,
Sing wimme, May the rest be damned!!
Can’t you choose to forget?
There are two modes, to wreck balance,
One is to provide vile punishment,
To one who did a wrong, and
The other, is to damn the rest.
Well yeah, I’ve seen the punishment,
I’ve suffered, willfully, coz that’s justice,
But today, they’ve released me from my personal hell,
And I’m saying, may the rest be damned.
Forget it, forget it, just forget!!
Let’s not hold any more regrets,
Time is short and there is so much more to patch up,
Be my friend, please, damn all the complication.
5:22 pm, 30th January, 2010.
Sorries in riddles, and so much repentance,
Learning to be human, and remorse to type,
And may the rest, be damned.
I’m not inflamed, nor am I vengeful,
I don’t play games anymore, I’m not that kind of girl,
I don’t wish to harm others, I care a lot,
But you know, sometimes, I’ll say…
May the rest be damned.
May it be damned, all the stupid troubles,
Life doesn’t have to be so complicated,
Anoint the burns, and tear the pages,
May hurt go up in flames, bury the frustration.
Kill all the jealousy, the awful emotion,
Stop the lying tongue, and go back soon,
Damn the horrible, unhealthy depressions,
Scream wimme, let the rest find damnation.
So, yeah, throw knives,
At sorrow, and kick up the dirt,
Sing wimme, May the rest be damned!!
Can’t you choose to forget?
There are two modes, to wreck balance,
One is to provide vile punishment,
To one who did a wrong, and
The other, is to damn the rest.
Well yeah, I’ve seen the punishment,
I’ve suffered, willfully, coz that’s justice,
But today, they’ve released me from my personal hell,
And I’m saying, may the rest be damned.
Forget it, forget it, just forget!!
Let’s not hold any more regrets,
Time is short and there is so much more to patch up,
Be my friend, please, damn all the complication.
5:22 pm, 30th January, 2010.
Swan of Dying Lake
Beforetime there existed, guardian,
Of dying lake, it ‘twas a swan,
Faultless, unbroken and esteemed,
The guardian swam, to lotus leaves.
The lotus would perish, with the lake,
And its remains, would drift away,
Rotten with premature decay,
Swan knew, it would degenerate.
The lotus, creamy white,
With comeliness, which had persisted, erewhile,
Betimes, the winsomeness would fragment,
And yet, lingered, the guardian of lake.
Forsooth, the swan was in love with the lotus,
It had seen the world, through its floral petals,
Crimson beauty, so spread out,
In symmetry, lotus had called out.
Ardent was swan, it could have but chosen,
Many others, who were just as noble,
In warmth, love and compassion,
They had matched, the guardian.
Nigh, said swan, to all others,
It would have only stayed with the lotus,
The lotus, the one, who enthralled,
For the lotus, guardian stayed behind.
But died the lake, come occasion,
‘Twas now, the summer season,
I prithee, go away said lotus,
So that I may die in all quiet.
The guardian promised to hang on,
To lotus, who would anyway find an end,
And so, in dying lake, swan finds reprieve,
Pardie, guardian has chosen to perish.
5:07 pm, 30th January, 2010.
Of dying lake, it ‘twas a swan,
Faultless, unbroken and esteemed,
The guardian swam, to lotus leaves.
The lotus would perish, with the lake,
And its remains, would drift away,
Rotten with premature decay,
Swan knew, it would degenerate.
The lotus, creamy white,
With comeliness, which had persisted, erewhile,
Betimes, the winsomeness would fragment,
And yet, lingered, the guardian of lake.
Forsooth, the swan was in love with the lotus,
It had seen the world, through its floral petals,
Crimson beauty, so spread out,
In symmetry, lotus had called out.
Ardent was swan, it could have but chosen,
Many others, who were just as noble,
In warmth, love and compassion,
They had matched, the guardian.
Nigh, said swan, to all others,
It would have only stayed with the lotus,
The lotus, the one, who enthralled,
For the lotus, guardian stayed behind.
But died the lake, come occasion,
‘Twas now, the summer season,
I prithee, go away said lotus,
So that I may die in all quiet.
The guardian promised to hang on,
To lotus, who would anyway find an end,
And so, in dying lake, swan finds reprieve,
Pardie, guardian has chosen to perish.
5:07 pm, 30th January, 2010.
The Thin Line
“There is only a thin line,”
Between love and hatred had come quick reply,
Aha, now speakth the sensibility,
It is easy to discern now, new is my ability.
Yes, there is only a thin line, a very steep one at that,
It’s a really thin line, almost invisible,
And when the shallow minds are murky, nothing is clear,
Thou shall skid to a halt, or skip over.
The thin line is so easy to cross,
And blame, borrowed, from others,
Shall complain, and it takes some time to feel the loss,
But loss it is, friend, when you skip across.
To break to a halt, is it so difficult?
When you spot the thin line, at the end of the road?
Why does something so erratic spurt?
Was it so great, the hurt?
It’s an easy line to cross, and then attack,
The one who wronged, and tell her she lacks,
gratefulness, empathy, and love, true,
She was a devil, I admit, but she did have a degree of virtue.
She chose not to hate, to cross the thin line,
She chose to love everybody, even if, before, she had committed crimes,
She choose to forgive the ailing hearts, she chose to heal,
But why did the thin line have to be crossed, why was the friendship sealed?
I saw the line, and didn’t skip across,
It looked like a cure to all this remorse,
But no, I choose to stay on this side,
The side where there is love, and so much life.
The side which knows no hatred, where there is purity to emotion,
Where no single heart ever stays broken,
On this side, where there is no one dies guilty,
This side of the thin line, where there is no animosity.
So I invite you today, to come to the greener side,
Where hearts are more human, than I can ever describe,
Where we know empathy, love and compassion,
So I pray to you, please, skip back over.
4:39 pm 30th January, 2010.
Between love and hatred had come quick reply,
Aha, now speakth the sensibility,
It is easy to discern now, new is my ability.
Yes, there is only a thin line, a very steep one at that,
It’s a really thin line, almost invisible,
And when the shallow minds are murky, nothing is clear,
Thou shall skid to a halt, or skip over.
The thin line is so easy to cross,
And blame, borrowed, from others,
Shall complain, and it takes some time to feel the loss,
But loss it is, friend, when you skip across.
To break to a halt, is it so difficult?
When you spot the thin line, at the end of the road?
Why does something so erratic spurt?
Was it so great, the hurt?
It’s an easy line to cross, and then attack,
The one who wronged, and tell her she lacks,
gratefulness, empathy, and love, true,
She was a devil, I admit, but she did have a degree of virtue.
She chose not to hate, to cross the thin line,
She chose to love everybody, even if, before, she had committed crimes,
She choose to forgive the ailing hearts, she chose to heal,
But why did the thin line have to be crossed, why was the friendship sealed?
I saw the line, and didn’t skip across,
It looked like a cure to all this remorse,
But no, I choose to stay on this side,
The side where there is love, and so much life.
The side which knows no hatred, where there is purity to emotion,
Where no single heart ever stays broken,
On this side, where there is no one dies guilty,
This side of the thin line, where there is no animosity.
So I invite you today, to come to the greener side,
Where hearts are more human, than I can ever describe,
Where we know empathy, love and compassion,
So I pray to you, please, skip back over.
4:39 pm 30th January, 2010.
Maple
On the twenty ninth she placed,
A maple, in the middle of the talking page,
It was full of your words, the dairy,
The one, that still treasures.
There are many such riches, many such gems,
That are snatched by the magpies, many such prizes,
And for me, the treasure had been simple,
It was that lone, tawny maple.
Maple, autumnal,
With dew, so moist, it had floated to her,
And with winds, as it grappled,
She had caught the maple.
It was her day of jubilant celebration,
And she had been so caught up in the revelry,
Her life had been festooned, decorated,
But the autumnal maple, had reminded.
It had contrasted, it had been crumbling,
In a world, that was blooming,
Like ugly duckling, which became swan,
The beauty in webbed vein, only I saw.
A maple it was, moist with morning dew,
Dying now, being trampled on,
But in crumbling maple, I saw,
Beauty, of my favorite brown.
The color is to me, very dear,
Because it’s a very special shade,
The maple flapped his wings in front of my eyes,
And I bought it home to my dairy….
Shadow, I named my maple.
And I placed him there, in my book, on the 29th,
So that place, he may always occupy,
He still stays there; I haven’t let him die…
8:46 pm, 29th January, 2010.
A maple, in the middle of the talking page,
It was full of your words, the dairy,
The one, that still treasures.
There are many such riches, many such gems,
That are snatched by the magpies, many such prizes,
And for me, the treasure had been simple,
It was that lone, tawny maple.
Maple, autumnal,
With dew, so moist, it had floated to her,
And with winds, as it grappled,
She had caught the maple.
It was her day of jubilant celebration,
And she had been so caught up in the revelry,
Her life had been festooned, decorated,
But the autumnal maple, had reminded.
It had contrasted, it had been crumbling,
In a world, that was blooming,
Like ugly duckling, which became swan,
The beauty in webbed vein, only I saw.
A maple it was, moist with morning dew,
Dying now, being trampled on,
But in crumbling maple, I saw,
Beauty, of my favorite brown.
The color is to me, very dear,
Because it’s a very special shade,
The maple flapped his wings in front of my eyes,
And I bought it home to my dairy….
Shadow, I named my maple.
And I placed him there, in my book, on the 29th,
So that place, he may always occupy,
He still stays there; I haven’t let him die…
8:46 pm, 29th January, 2010.
On the 29th
29th January, it is today,
It is something special, did you forget?
29th January, it is today,
It’s a truly incredible day!
29th January, my dairy shall never forget,
For in it was written words, that spanned,
More than 20 pages, in a single day…
That day, phenomenal, life became.
It was the day…wait, why should I leak?
All my secrets, why should I speak?
Aha, is born another riddle,
For the clever thinker!
Do you remember this day, can you?
Does your memory stay sharp, can you review,
Go back to see, what so important,
It’s not just another day, the twenty-ninth!!!
Oh my gosh, a year already?
Friend, can you stay steady?
Isn’t time too quick, it’s already past-tense,
It’s come and come again, the twenty-ninth!!
It’s not your birthday, neither mine,
It’s not a holiday, the twenty-ninth,
My dairy knows, so do you,
I wish you could go back and sift through…
All the memories, and you will see,
The significance, of this momentous day,
The twenty-ninth, scribbled in 20 pages,
Shall stay immortal, to my pen.
Time might scurry, but 29th is caught,
A happy memory, the day that bought,
A little more sunshine to bright a world,
All aglow, something, unfurled.
On the 29th, of year last,
On the month of January, which is in the past?
So long ago, and yet so close,
Time has been spent, but memories, don’t repose.
On the 29th.
29th January, 2010. 1:30 am.
It is something special, did you forget?
29th January, it is today,
It’s a truly incredible day!
29th January, my dairy shall never forget,
For in it was written words, that spanned,
More than 20 pages, in a single day…
That day, phenomenal, life became.
It was the day…wait, why should I leak?
All my secrets, why should I speak?
Aha, is born another riddle,
For the clever thinker!
Do you remember this day, can you?
Does your memory stay sharp, can you review,
Go back to see, what so important,
It’s not just another day, the twenty-ninth!!!
Oh my gosh, a year already?
Friend, can you stay steady?
Isn’t time too quick, it’s already past-tense,
It’s come and come again, the twenty-ninth!!
It’s not your birthday, neither mine,
It’s not a holiday, the twenty-ninth,
My dairy knows, so do you,
I wish you could go back and sift through…
All the memories, and you will see,
The significance, of this momentous day,
The twenty-ninth, scribbled in 20 pages,
Shall stay immortal, to my pen.
Time might scurry, but 29th is caught,
A happy memory, the day that bought,
A little more sunshine to bright a world,
All aglow, something, unfurled.
On the 29th, of year last,
On the month of January, which is in the past?
So long ago, and yet so close,
Time has been spent, but memories, don’t repose.
On the 29th.
29th January, 2010. 1:30 am.
Repeating
Sleepy fingers, so illogical,
Luminescent screen, once more calls,
Hesitate not, I, to write,
Poetess shall rhyme, in spite….
You know, I’m tired today, so drowsy,
Back from writing 3 exams, just so crazy,
I’ve not slept all night; I’ve tossed and turned,
Insomniac, I have become.
But hey, all that is in the past,
To whine is not the intent of this post,
This post is to show you I remember,
My remorse, every single day…..burns the ember.
Seething hot, it hasn’t been soothed,
Months have passed, nothing is still smooth,
There is only a single remedy, just one cure,
Tell me you forgive me, friend, please be sure.
I might be sleep-deprived,
Depressed, I may cry,
I may be engaged in many activities,
But know that, I’m always remembering.
I did a wrong, I know, I know!!
And the remorse burns strong, I’m constantly low,
I want to recover, I want to sleep,
One day, to rest in peace.
How can I be called human, if mistakes, I don’t accept?
How can I be called human, if I don’t’ repent?
Insatiable is desire, it’s a simple craving,
To be forgiven, I am longing.
1:20 am, 29th January, 2010.
Luminescent screen, once more calls,
Hesitate not, I, to write,
Poetess shall rhyme, in spite….
You know, I’m tired today, so drowsy,
Back from writing 3 exams, just so crazy,
I’ve not slept all night; I’ve tossed and turned,
Insomniac, I have become.
But hey, all that is in the past,
To whine is not the intent of this post,
This post is to show you I remember,
My remorse, every single day…..burns the ember.
Seething hot, it hasn’t been soothed,
Months have passed, nothing is still smooth,
There is only a single remedy, just one cure,
Tell me you forgive me, friend, please be sure.
I might be sleep-deprived,
Depressed, I may cry,
I may be engaged in many activities,
But know that, I’m always remembering.
I did a wrong, I know, I know!!
And the remorse burns strong, I’m constantly low,
I want to recover, I want to sleep,
One day, to rest in peace.
How can I be called human, if mistakes, I don’t accept?
How can I be called human, if I don’t’ repent?
Insatiable is desire, it’s a simple craving,
To be forgiven, I am longing.
1:20 am, 29th January, 2010.
Turn Around
Walking alone on cold January night,
Shivering all along my spine,
And yet enjoying the numbing winds,
Whispers in the dark, speaking….
Chimes, in the far distance,
Twinkling stars, in the great beyond,
Remembering, the repentance,
And maintaining, going along.
Alone, it was impossible not to think,
Even if I had forgotten how to blink,
My thoughts rushed, I visualized,
You walking by, holding my hand.
I shouldn’t have, I shouldn’t! It’s wrong,
I shouldn’t have, when you are gone,
Alas, what do I do, I cannot forbid,
Coz everything is already morbid.
How can I not imagine my best friend,
Walking along, holding my hand?
How can I stop thinking that you belong,
That you will someday, respond?
Aha, did you know what I did?
I threw my head up to the skies,
And watched the clouds flitting by,
In the sweet moonlight….
On January night,
I called your name, soft and slow,
With your name, the winds played,
Tossing it there and here again,
They gushed, so powerfully,
And I grinned, innocently.
Just your name is enough,
Just your name gives a spark,
To dying winds, which were starved,
To the rhythm in name, they bounce along.
And as to your name I called,
The chimes responded, clinked,
Sweet was that melody….
You should have been here!
Oh, I would have danced, I swear!
If I wasn’t holding my physics textbook as I walked home,
On my journey, all alone,
Calling your name, but with winds it had flown.
Your name, away from me was blown…..
Once uttered, from my lips it did escape,
With the winds, it did fade……
May the winds, turn around.
May the winds hear my song.
May the winds come back, May they comprehend,
How much, to me, means my friend…
11:21 pm January, 2010.
Shivering all along my spine,
And yet enjoying the numbing winds,
Whispers in the dark, speaking….
Chimes, in the far distance,
Twinkling stars, in the great beyond,
Remembering, the repentance,
And maintaining, going along.
Alone, it was impossible not to think,
Even if I had forgotten how to blink,
My thoughts rushed, I visualized,
You walking by, holding my hand.
I shouldn’t have, I shouldn’t! It’s wrong,
I shouldn’t have, when you are gone,
Alas, what do I do, I cannot forbid,
Coz everything is already morbid.
How can I not imagine my best friend,
Walking along, holding my hand?
How can I stop thinking that you belong,
That you will someday, respond?
Aha, did you know what I did?
I threw my head up to the skies,
And watched the clouds flitting by,
In the sweet moonlight….
On January night,
I called your name, soft and slow,
With your name, the winds played,
Tossing it there and here again,
They gushed, so powerfully,
And I grinned, innocently.
Just your name is enough,
Just your name gives a spark,
To dying winds, which were starved,
To the rhythm in name, they bounce along.
And as to your name I called,
The chimes responded, clinked,
Sweet was that melody….
You should have been here!
Oh, I would have danced, I swear!
If I wasn’t holding my physics textbook as I walked home,
On my journey, all alone,
Calling your name, but with winds it had flown.
Your name, away from me was blown…..
Once uttered, from my lips it did escape,
With the winds, it did fade……
May the winds, turn around.
May the winds hear my song.
May the winds come back, May they comprehend,
How much, to me, means my friend…
11:21 pm January, 2010.
Dumb
I have known to be obsessive over trivial things,
I take things to heart, magnifying,
I’m nobody great, nobody intelligent,
Little and timid, I am just me.
But there used to be times when I thought that wasn’t enough,
When I felt that I wasn’t enough too,
And those were the times when I relied on my seraph,
I would confide in you.
Exam time, when I was stressed,
Anxious, tensed and so depressed,
I would call to you, and complain,
I’m just so dumb, I would say.
Yes, I’m still so dumb, I don’t get physics,
I cry over problems when no one’s looking,
I’m fed up with the way my brain functions,
I want it to stay intelligent and rational.
Aha, but so many things plague it now,
Depressions, guilt and pricking anxiety,
And as they scream for help over again,
I wish that you could be here with me.
Holding my hand, making me see sense,
Telling me that nothing was wrong when
It actually was. And giving me that extra strength
To fight harder, to hold on.
Showing me that life was not as bad as it was meant to be,
That there was nothing possibly wrong with me,
My outlook was pessimistic,
But you knew how to make life look like a masterpiece.
I have an exam tomorrow; I have tried to study,
I have tried to concentrate, with all my heart,
And I feel Dumb again, although I’ve tried,
Nothing seems to be correct, this is futile.
Where do I seek help now, you tell me?
It’s not a teacher I require, its emotional support.
It’s not the understanding, it’s the confidence,
Which is lacking in me, since the day you left.
Help this soul; you are the only one, who can,
Make me light up, and take it in my stride,
Make me feel like nothing is impossible,
Is that asking too much, or too little?
I’m sorry!! I’m sorry! I cannot survive,
Without your support, your wonderful advise,
You were awesome; you were more than a friend,
In my life, you made a profound difference.
So I pray…..help me…….Come back. Without your advise, my rational thought can't survive...
11:31 am, 24th January, 2010.
I take things to heart, magnifying,
I’m nobody great, nobody intelligent,
Little and timid, I am just me.
But there used to be times when I thought that wasn’t enough,
When I felt that I wasn’t enough too,
And those were the times when I relied on my seraph,
I would confide in you.
Exam time, when I was stressed,
Anxious, tensed and so depressed,
I would call to you, and complain,
I’m just so dumb, I would say.
Yes, I’m still so dumb, I don’t get physics,
I cry over problems when no one’s looking,
I’m fed up with the way my brain functions,
I want it to stay intelligent and rational.
Aha, but so many things plague it now,
Depressions, guilt and pricking anxiety,
And as they scream for help over again,
I wish that you could be here with me.
Holding my hand, making me see sense,
Telling me that nothing was wrong when
It actually was. And giving me that extra strength
To fight harder, to hold on.
Showing me that life was not as bad as it was meant to be,
That there was nothing possibly wrong with me,
My outlook was pessimistic,
But you knew how to make life look like a masterpiece.
I have an exam tomorrow; I have tried to study,
I have tried to concentrate, with all my heart,
And I feel Dumb again, although I’ve tried,
Nothing seems to be correct, this is futile.
Where do I seek help now, you tell me?
It’s not a teacher I require, its emotional support.
It’s not the understanding, it’s the confidence,
Which is lacking in me, since the day you left.
Help this soul; you are the only one, who can,
Make me light up, and take it in my stride,
Make me feel like nothing is impossible,
Is that asking too much, or too little?
I’m sorry!! I’m sorry! I cannot survive,
Without your support, your wonderful advise,
You were awesome; you were more than a friend,
In my life, you made a profound difference.
So I pray…..help me…….Come back. Without your advise, my rational thought can't survive...
11:31 am, 24th January, 2010.
If it never had happened
If it never had happened, would all have been fine?
If it never had happened, would you have been mine?
My best friend, the one I could rely on,
The one, who would have stayed behind….
If it never had happened, would you have come back,
For me, when all was gone?
If it had never happened, would you have kept,
promises, Wiped my tears, when I wept?
You used to do that before, did you forget?
Cheer me up, made me feel tall when I thought I was a midget,
You used to tickle me pink, and then used to force,
A half-hearted smile, would become a whole.
If it never happened, maybe you would have continued,
It wouldn’t be like you’d return in a blue moon,
You would always hold my hand,
You would have made me a different person.
If it never had happened, you would be the shelter,
My respite, in scorching summer,
If you were there, things wouldn’t be cruel,
But that is only, if you were here.
If it never happened, we would have been together,
As best friends, always on the better,
Side of things and happy, all the time….
If, it never had happened.
But it has happened, friend, and the cause is me,
I’ve cut the chords, broken it is,
Yes, I did something wrong,
But please pretend it hasn’t happened, and forgive me…its been so long…
3:35 pm 22nd January, 2010.
If it never had happened, would you have been mine?
My best friend, the one I could rely on,
The one, who would have stayed behind….
If it never had happened, would you have come back,
For me, when all was gone?
If it had never happened, would you have kept,
promises, Wiped my tears, when I wept?
You used to do that before, did you forget?
Cheer me up, made me feel tall when I thought I was a midget,
You used to tickle me pink, and then used to force,
A half-hearted smile, would become a whole.
If it never happened, maybe you would have continued,
It wouldn’t be like you’d return in a blue moon,
You would always hold my hand,
You would have made me a different person.
If it never had happened, you would be the shelter,
My respite, in scorching summer,
If you were there, things wouldn’t be cruel,
But that is only, if you were here.
If it never happened, we would have been together,
As best friends, always on the better,
Side of things and happy, all the time….
If, it never had happened.
But it has happened, friend, and the cause is me,
I’ve cut the chords, broken it is,
Yes, I did something wrong,
But please pretend it hasn’t happened, and forgive me…its been so long…
3:35 pm 22nd January, 2010.
Agony
The Indian black, gilded ebony,
Does ink my moving quill,
As I leave, to enter my world,
Unspoken, is my growing agony.
Expression should be pure, and so channelized,
Expression should always come from the heart,
This, no master has taught,
But experience has been my teacher, I’ve intuitively figured out.
But who would have ever thought,
That there was anything sane about agony,
Because agony is not a stable emotion,
Agony, is feeling and unfeeling.
Agony is pain, the one that quietly derails,
Agony is a monster, and it’s impossible to get used to the pain.
But my expression, my soul, is such that it cannot deny…
Even Agony, here, finds a voice.
How can I just shut up and keep it all to myself?
How can I keep it buried, how can I not impel?
I want to scream, every single second, its lunatism,
And so, to agony, I decided to find a voice.
Here, even agony is so channelized,
Neat and ordered, I never knew it was fine,
I thought agony was coarse, and undefined,
But you know, I was just so wrong.
No, I wear my heart on my sleeve,
And I want to show exactly how much it hurts,
I don’t want to one day leave,
Leaving behind secrets, when others grieve.
Why do I openly show my agony, when nobody cares?
Why do I continue writing, when it’s all insane?
Maybe because I just want you to see,
And understand that I’m repenting.
I continue to write, as no one reads,
They gave me their advises, but I find no reprieve,
It's senseless when you are so agonized,
Everything is weird, you cannot understand.
But no, I won't shut up, I don't want to!
I won't shut up, even if they say "No one is listening to you!"
This might all be futile, but it's atlease sincere,
You might not forgive me, but I will persevere...
I want you to understand that I committed a wrong,
But I’m equally sorry, so I’m singing along,
Openly showcasing my agony,
Begging you to forgive me!
It hurts the guiltily more than the innocent,
It stabs us harder, more is the pain,
You might suffer, but I suffer tenfold,
Unforgiven, it is a hundred times more.
5:25 pm, 19th January, 2010.
Does ink my moving quill,
As I leave, to enter my world,
Unspoken, is my growing agony.
Expression should be pure, and so channelized,
Expression should always come from the heart,
This, no master has taught,
But experience has been my teacher, I’ve intuitively figured out.
But who would have ever thought,
That there was anything sane about agony,
Because agony is not a stable emotion,
Agony, is feeling and unfeeling.
Agony is pain, the one that quietly derails,
Agony is a monster, and it’s impossible to get used to the pain.
But my expression, my soul, is such that it cannot deny…
Even Agony, here, finds a voice.
How can I just shut up and keep it all to myself?
How can I keep it buried, how can I not impel?
I want to scream, every single second, its lunatism,
And so, to agony, I decided to find a voice.
Here, even agony is so channelized,
Neat and ordered, I never knew it was fine,
I thought agony was coarse, and undefined,
But you know, I was just so wrong.
No, I wear my heart on my sleeve,
And I want to show exactly how much it hurts,
I don’t want to one day leave,
Leaving behind secrets, when others grieve.
Why do I openly show my agony, when nobody cares?
Why do I continue writing, when it’s all insane?
Maybe because I just want you to see,
And understand that I’m repenting.
I continue to write, as no one reads,
They gave me their advises, but I find no reprieve,
It's senseless when you are so agonized,
Everything is weird, you cannot understand.
But no, I won't shut up, I don't want to!
I won't shut up, even if they say "No one is listening to you!"
This might all be futile, but it's atlease sincere,
You might not forgive me, but I will persevere...
I want you to understand that I committed a wrong,
But I’m equally sorry, so I’m singing along,
Openly showcasing my agony,
Begging you to forgive me!
It hurts the guiltily more than the innocent,
It stabs us harder, more is the pain,
You might suffer, but I suffer tenfold,
Unforgiven, it is a hundred times more.
5:25 pm, 19th January, 2010.
Happier Times
A thousand suns and a thousand moons,
Can come and go, but I’ll still be blue,
They may turn fluid, they may pass,
But know that I still cannot laugh.
I cannot anymore hold my smile,
Because we have seen happier times!
Happier, fun, the good old times,
When we were friends, and I never lied!
Happier times, when my eyes would spy,
After those lectures and class,
To catch your eye,
I would try….those were our happier times.
Oh, when we were on cordial terms,
When something seemed to be picking up,
When to you, I looked and grinned,
But your glance had been fleeting…those were our happier times.
Those times when I hoped for miracles,
To happen in front of my eyes,
Do you remember that day, especial,
When it had rained cats and dogs?...those were our happier times.
Yes, I had hoped, they were wishful dreams,
Colorfully built adolescent fantasies,
When my dreams, desire wedded,
Something had turned entirely different….those were the happier times.
Now, see, look how it has changed,
Look now, how unhappy life became,
It’s now all black and white,
Color hath drained, it shall collapse.
This isn’t my happiest time.
It has swept me away, like a tide,
In anguish, pure, as I drown,
It’s invaded me in every sense,
I’m hoping the happier time will come again…..
So please be kind, please revive,
Give me the nectar, help me survive,
Show me the light at the end of my tunnel,
Make me well, oh, please my angel!
I beg you……I beg you….for happier times….
5:12 pm, January 19th 2010.
Can come and go, but I’ll still be blue,
They may turn fluid, they may pass,
But know that I still cannot laugh.
I cannot anymore hold my smile,
Because we have seen happier times!
Happier, fun, the good old times,
When we were friends, and I never lied!
Happier times, when my eyes would spy,
After those lectures and class,
To catch your eye,
I would try….those were our happier times.
Oh, when we were on cordial terms,
When something seemed to be picking up,
When to you, I looked and grinned,
But your glance had been fleeting…those were our happier times.
Those times when I hoped for miracles,
To happen in front of my eyes,
Do you remember that day, especial,
When it had rained cats and dogs?...those were our happier times.
Yes, I had hoped, they were wishful dreams,
Colorfully built adolescent fantasies,
When my dreams, desire wedded,
Something had turned entirely different….those were the happier times.
Now, see, look how it has changed,
Look now, how unhappy life became,
It’s now all black and white,
Color hath drained, it shall collapse.
This isn’t my happiest time.
It has swept me away, like a tide,
In anguish, pure, as I drown,
It’s invaded me in every sense,
I’m hoping the happier time will come again…..
So please be kind, please revive,
Give me the nectar, help me survive,
Show me the light at the end of my tunnel,
Make me well, oh, please my angel!
I beg you……I beg you….for happier times….
5:12 pm, January 19th 2010.
Frayed
With overuse, ropes can fray,
With misuse, toys might break,
Carelessness, and ignorant,
A friendship can also fray.
When ropes are gone, o’ course,
You can replace them, with others,
When toys lay broken, you can find,
Better ones, you can buy.
But what happens when a friendship breaks?
It cannot be reassembled,
It’s not a toy, it’s immaterial,
Excuses don’t work, can it be patched up again?
What does it take, to heal it all?
What does it take, why can’t
Words ever try to tie that knot,
Rejoin what has frayed apart?
Why can’t there be a reunion,
Even after lessons are learnt?
What does it take to replace,
The hatred, to make right what is frayed?
It’s frayed, no glue can fix it,
It’s frayed, what will mend it?
Is it enough, just to repent?
Should I do more, what should I lend?
What will make it right, what has been frayed?
What will make it feel like I never betrayed?
Why does it have to be so hard, to reconstruct,
Why do I have to be this adrift?
Is it…..still frayed?
10:46 pm, 17th January, 2010.
With misuse, toys might break,
Carelessness, and ignorant,
A friendship can also fray.
When ropes are gone, o’ course,
You can replace them, with others,
When toys lay broken, you can find,
Better ones, you can buy.
But what happens when a friendship breaks?
It cannot be reassembled,
It’s not a toy, it’s immaterial,
Excuses don’t work, can it be patched up again?
What does it take, to heal it all?
What does it take, why can’t
Words ever try to tie that knot,
Rejoin what has frayed apart?
Why can’t there be a reunion,
Even after lessons are learnt?
What does it take to replace,
The hatred, to make right what is frayed?
It’s frayed, no glue can fix it,
It’s frayed, what will mend it?
Is it enough, just to repent?
Should I do more, what should I lend?
What will make it right, what has been frayed?
What will make it feel like I never betrayed?
Why does it have to be so hard, to reconstruct,
Why do I have to be this adrift?
Is it…..still frayed?
10:46 pm, 17th January, 2010.
Endeavour
Things that never last,
Are of little significance to this world,
Things buried in the past,
Are not inconsequent matters.
So, baby, Endeavour,
Enduring, human experience,
Workin’ hard to capture the essence,
I know it’s not pleasant,
All I know is how to repent,
So, baby, Endeavour.
Unforgotten, and unleashed,
Not bound, completely free,
And yet, caged, and so displeased,
It’s like a new era, a whole new creed.
So, baby, Endeavour.
One is free, the other ain’t,
One is happy, the other is tainted,
One, is living, fully, and happily,
The other, in guilt, is languishing,
So, baby, Endeavour.
I won’t say endure, because that’s not you,
It’s supposed to be me, who always knew,
That the fault was hers, and hers alone,
It’s not yours, I have sworn.
So, baby, Endeavour.
Left alone, and just so behind,
I am not confident, know no valor,
I’m not so balanced, and so stable,
I’m not a rebel, but I’m human.
So, baby, Endeavour.
10:43 pm, 17th January, 2010.
Are of little significance to this world,
Things buried in the past,
Are not inconsequent matters.
So, baby, Endeavour,
Enduring, human experience,
Workin’ hard to capture the essence,
I know it’s not pleasant,
All I know is how to repent,
So, baby, Endeavour.
Unforgotten, and unleashed,
Not bound, completely free,
And yet, caged, and so displeased,
It’s like a new era, a whole new creed.
So, baby, Endeavour.
One is free, the other ain’t,
One is happy, the other is tainted,
One, is living, fully, and happily,
The other, in guilt, is languishing,
So, baby, Endeavour.
I won’t say endure, because that’s not you,
It’s supposed to be me, who always knew,
That the fault was hers, and hers alone,
It’s not yours, I have sworn.
So, baby, Endeavour.
Left alone, and just so behind,
I am not confident, know no valor,
I’m not so balanced, and so stable,
I’m not a rebel, but I’m human.
So, baby, Endeavour.
10:43 pm, 17th January, 2010.
Thank You
Ecstasy, panic and remembered promises,
Lost good-byes, and so many silent wishes,
I had reminisced, I have writhed…
Lonesome and encumbered, I had remembered…
How I never said Thank you, for being there,
For being my angel, for being so eager to share,
For the forgotten moments in the backbenches,
For the cheer, the comfort which healed all the scars.
How could I not have thanked you, for being so understanding,
For reaching across, for not being demanding,
For the stable comfort, for erasing all the pain,
For healing the cruel memories, that pricked the tormented brain?
How could I have not thanked you, for all your sympathy?
For being the one who knew, that I was deeper than the world could see?
For all the extra confidence, for the good advice,
For being just so yourself, strong and wise!
For those long talks on the phone, just to make me feel alright,
For making me feel so special, beautiful and bright,
For knowing that I was more beautiful than I had meant to be,
For showing me the magic, for helping me to see,
For being my guide, and a solid shoulder,
For showing me what really mattered….
How could I not be grateful, for someone so special?
For someone who had thought that she was forever invisible!
For someone so gentle, caring and concerned in his ways,
You have transformed me, in more than a million ways.
How could I have never thanked you, for making me feel wanted,
When I was so hopelessly lost , timid and dejected,
For holding my hand, for helping me hang on,
When the world felt dark, and I needed someone.
For telling me so many stories, for telling me I wasn’t inferior
For telling me I wasn’t wrong, the world was just cruel,
For opening my eyes, for the refreshing optimism,
For bouncing along, to my little quirks and wrongs,
So, I thought I’d let you know,
How you painted my life, in ways more everlasting than a rainbow,
So, here is a heartfelt thank you,
For everything you have ever been to me….
10:28, 17th January, 2010.
Lost good-byes, and so many silent wishes,
I had reminisced, I have writhed…
Lonesome and encumbered, I had remembered…
How I never said Thank you, for being there,
For being my angel, for being so eager to share,
For the forgotten moments in the backbenches,
For the cheer, the comfort which healed all the scars.
How could I not have thanked you, for being so understanding,
For reaching across, for not being demanding,
For the stable comfort, for erasing all the pain,
For healing the cruel memories, that pricked the tormented brain?
How could I have not thanked you, for all your sympathy?
For being the one who knew, that I was deeper than the world could see?
For all the extra confidence, for the good advice,
For being just so yourself, strong and wise!
For those long talks on the phone, just to make me feel alright,
For making me feel so special, beautiful and bright,
For knowing that I was more beautiful than I had meant to be,
For showing me the magic, for helping me to see,
For being my guide, and a solid shoulder,
For showing me what really mattered….
How could I not be grateful, for someone so special?
For someone who had thought that she was forever invisible!
For someone so gentle, caring and concerned in his ways,
You have transformed me, in more than a million ways.
How could I have never thanked you, for making me feel wanted,
When I was so hopelessly lost , timid and dejected,
For holding my hand, for helping me hang on,
When the world felt dark, and I needed someone.
For telling me so many stories, for telling me I wasn’t inferior
For telling me I wasn’t wrong, the world was just cruel,
For opening my eyes, for the refreshing optimism,
For bouncing along, to my little quirks and wrongs,
So, I thought I’d let you know,
How you painted my life, in ways more everlasting than a rainbow,
So, here is a heartfelt thank you,
For everything you have ever been to me….
10:28, 17th January, 2010.
Unfold and Untold
The timid heart shuddered as it walked invisible,
For who would have ever thought that she was someone special?
So meek, alert and disciplined in her ways,
She never thought that there would come another day…
How could the magic unfold?
But he was different, he always understood,
He could read all her stories, like she was an open book,
Mysteries buried in quagmires of thought,
Were unraveled, although she never thought…
But still, she questioned, how could the magic ever unfold?
With a touch of his brilliance, he had transformed,
Her world with myriad hues and colors, she was charmed,
By the sincerity in those eyes, and elegance, naturally built,
By the warmth and comfort that were genuinely his,
But still she questioned, how could the magic unfold?
Practical, headstrong, and graceful was he,
But also keen, and just so friendly,
Ambitious dreams, so fearlessly confessed,
With his gentle ways, he had impressed,
But although he was sure, she had maintained…
How could the magic ever unfold?
Perfection so endearing, it was hard to believe,
That it was all so small and difficult to receive,
Miss invisible was edgy, always so unsure,
But he had held on, insistent and persuasive,
And yet, it was hard to believe…
All you ever wanted—was me?
There were days when she was bogged down,
Caught in situations, in life’s twists and turns,
And as she wriggled, lonesome and depressed
He had once, softly said,
That he was grateful that she there,
And without her, the word wouldn’t be the same.
Although she was forever enamored by him,
She never felt so strong,
So beautiful, so wanted, so special,
That day, she tasted the magic, and saw it unfold,
It was ecstasy, experienced like never before.
Soft songs, repeated, memories became smiling treasures,
Passions relived, darkness swept away and forgotten,
Miss invisible was smitten,
But she is today, unforgiven.
10:18 pm, 17th January, 2010.
For who would have ever thought that she was someone special?
So meek, alert and disciplined in her ways,
She never thought that there would come another day…
How could the magic unfold?
But he was different, he always understood,
He could read all her stories, like she was an open book,
Mysteries buried in quagmires of thought,
Were unraveled, although she never thought…
But still, she questioned, how could the magic ever unfold?
With a touch of his brilliance, he had transformed,
Her world with myriad hues and colors, she was charmed,
By the sincerity in those eyes, and elegance, naturally built,
By the warmth and comfort that were genuinely his,
But still she questioned, how could the magic unfold?
Practical, headstrong, and graceful was he,
But also keen, and just so friendly,
Ambitious dreams, so fearlessly confessed,
With his gentle ways, he had impressed,
But although he was sure, she had maintained…
How could the magic ever unfold?
Perfection so endearing, it was hard to believe,
That it was all so small and difficult to receive,
Miss invisible was edgy, always so unsure,
But he had held on, insistent and persuasive,
And yet, it was hard to believe…
All you ever wanted—was me?
There were days when she was bogged down,
Caught in situations, in life’s twists and turns,
And as she wriggled, lonesome and depressed
He had once, softly said,
That he was grateful that she there,
And without her, the word wouldn’t be the same.
Although she was forever enamored by him,
She never felt so strong,
So beautiful, so wanted, so special,
That day, she tasted the magic, and saw it unfold,
It was ecstasy, experienced like never before.
Soft songs, repeated, memories became smiling treasures,
Passions relived, darkness swept away and forgotten,
Miss invisible was smitten,
But she is today, unforgiven.
10:18 pm, 17th January, 2010.
Different
You were different in every way,
You stood out; you were not the same,
There was something about you that gave away,
That you were different, your smile would say.
You were different, and beyond description,
Oh how can I elucidate?
I cannot make my feelings clear,
But all I know is that you were so different, from the rest.
And different turned life too, in company,
Of somebody so different, it was enchanting,
It was dark before, so depressing,
But in your company, all that was disappearing.
I had been plagued by my past, which had kept returning,
Horrible school days, when I had been crying,
For friends, when I didn’t have any,
Hope that life would ever be fair to me.
You had made a difference to me, your presence,
Had changed something, had knocked some sense,
Into me. Yes, there was something to you that was so peculiar,
Something so distinctly individual.
But yes, you shared, you told me,
Even if you didn’t, I understood your philosophy,
And it was something new to me, something pleasing,
And it changed me, gave me confidence.
Yes, you made a profound difference to my life,
Do you remember that wonderful morn of July?
When I had first seen you, and had instantly knew,
That the difference was here, to do away with my blues.
1:57 pm, 16th January, 2010.
You stood out; you were not the same,
There was something about you that gave away,
That you were different, your smile would say.
You were different, and beyond description,
Oh how can I elucidate?
I cannot make my feelings clear,
But all I know is that you were so different, from the rest.
And different turned life too, in company,
Of somebody so different, it was enchanting,
It was dark before, so depressing,
But in your company, all that was disappearing.
I had been plagued by my past, which had kept returning,
Horrible school days, when I had been crying,
For friends, when I didn’t have any,
Hope that life would ever be fair to me.
You had made a difference to me, your presence,
Had changed something, had knocked some sense,
Into me. Yes, there was something to you that was so peculiar,
Something so distinctly individual.
But yes, you shared, you told me,
Even if you didn’t, I understood your philosophy,
And it was something new to me, something pleasing,
And it changed me, gave me confidence.
Yes, you made a profound difference to my life,
Do you remember that wonderful morn of July?
When I had first seen you, and had instantly knew,
That the difference was here, to do away with my blues.
1:57 pm, 16th January, 2010.
Another Day
It’s another day, and I’m thinking of another time,
My coffee is fresh, and they are singing, the wind chimes,
I’m supposed to be here, stuck in the present,
But I’m returning to the past, even if it isn’t pleasant.
It’s another day, and moves on the time,
Everybody does their work, finally settles down,
The days change, with the seasons, summer’s gone,
My world grows, but I don’t trot along.
I’m supposed to be here, concentrating,
Giving my best shot, striving,
There is much to do, at the end of another day,
But to write to you, I will not forget.
I have chores, I have responsibilities,
I have to fulfill so many duties,
It’s tiring, and sometimes frustrating,
But amidst all that, I’m not ignoring.
Let there be stress, let there be strain,
Let me be weary, at the end of another day,
But I should sleep with the satisfaction,
That every day, I’m contributing to make a difference.
The difference, I’m hoping will happen,
And that is how hard I’m working,
Every other day, when I find the time,
I scribble to you, even amidst my every strife.
Another day ends, another begins,
I taste the rich flavor, seething hot coffee I drink,
The wind chimes and I continue to do my duties,
But at the corner of my notebook, another song I’m scribbling.
1:45 pm, 16th January, 2010.
My coffee is fresh, and they are singing, the wind chimes,
I’m supposed to be here, stuck in the present,
But I’m returning to the past, even if it isn’t pleasant.
It’s another day, and moves on the time,
Everybody does their work, finally settles down,
The days change, with the seasons, summer’s gone,
My world grows, but I don’t trot along.
I’m supposed to be here, concentrating,
Giving my best shot, striving,
There is much to do, at the end of another day,
But to write to you, I will not forget.
I have chores, I have responsibilities,
I have to fulfill so many duties,
It’s tiring, and sometimes frustrating,
But amidst all that, I’m not ignoring.
Let there be stress, let there be strain,
Let me be weary, at the end of another day,
But I should sleep with the satisfaction,
That every day, I’m contributing to make a difference.
The difference, I’m hoping will happen,
And that is how hard I’m working,
Every other day, when I find the time,
I scribble to you, even amidst my every strife.
Another day ends, another begins,
I taste the rich flavor, seething hot coffee I drink,
The wind chimes and I continue to do my duties,
But at the corner of my notebook, another song I’m scribbling.
1:45 pm, 16th January, 2010.
Flawless
Flawed was I, but you were flawless,
Stupid was I, but intelligent you stayed,
Depraved was, I, disorderly and grave,
Infirm was I, so complex and vague.
Aha, but flawless were you, in every activity,
Your beauty of character shined forth, such was your personality,
Benign and gentle, and just so loving,
Affectionate but not small, and so giving.
Generous, through my own eyes I had seen,
How you had such sympathy!!
You held true empathy, to every single being,
You gave, selflessly, you weren’t calculative.
Yes, I had seen you, I was so appreciative,
Of this particular trait of yours, a special quality,
It made you remarkable, you are praiseworthy,
But I guess I wasn’t worthy enough, I was unworthy.
Yes you were flawless, from your gait to smile,
I admired so many characteristics, but I had still lied,
I’m sorry I did that, you were so untarnished,
But tarnish you, did I?
Aha, I know it hurts, when you are perfect and untainted,
When such a wonderful person, I had hurt so deep,
I know how it feels, even if it wasn’t me,
Who was experiencing it, but I still know how it feels.
Because I can put you in my shoes, I know how to do that,
I know it was so wrong of me, I know it hurts,
Because you were flawless, and so you should remain,
So please be forgiving, I won’t hurt you ever, I shall refrain.
1:13 am, 16th January, 2010.
Stupid was I, but intelligent you stayed,
Depraved was, I, disorderly and grave,
Infirm was I, so complex and vague.
Aha, but flawless were you, in every activity,
Your beauty of character shined forth, such was your personality,
Benign and gentle, and just so loving,
Affectionate but not small, and so giving.
Generous, through my own eyes I had seen,
How you had such sympathy!!
You held true empathy, to every single being,
You gave, selflessly, you weren’t calculative.
Yes, I had seen you, I was so appreciative,
Of this particular trait of yours, a special quality,
It made you remarkable, you are praiseworthy,
But I guess I wasn’t worthy enough, I was unworthy.
Yes you were flawless, from your gait to smile,
I admired so many characteristics, but I had still lied,
I’m sorry I did that, you were so untarnished,
But tarnish you, did I?
Aha, I know it hurts, when you are perfect and untainted,
When such a wonderful person, I had hurt so deep,
I know how it feels, even if it wasn’t me,
Who was experiencing it, but I still know how it feels.
Because I can put you in my shoes, I know how to do that,
I know it was so wrong of me, I know it hurts,
Because you were flawless, and so you should remain,
So please be forgiving, I won’t hurt you ever, I shall refrain.
1:13 am, 16th January, 2010.
Blindfolded.
HOW does it feel to be blindfolded, when you are already unseeing?
How does it feel to be neglected, when you are already grieving?
Additional bullets, when you are already bleeding?
Blindfolded, into darkness, falling.
That is exactly how it feels to me, I am writhing,
That is how sorry I am, I am not unfeeling,
That is how the remorse kills me, burning,
That is how much this is hurting.
Because I’m sorry, just so sorry for what I did,
I shouldn’t have done that, so I’m repenting my deed,
I know we can’t leave the past behind, it is so integral,
It shapes us, defining who we are.
The past haunts me, does it haunt you too?
Do you feel hurt, for what I did to you?
I know that it’s not easy to leave everything behind,
But I’m begging you for another chance, please do try!
It’s not easy to forget, to effortlessly let go,
It’s not easy not to feel anything at all,
But I’m wishing that you sincerely try,
And leave all this behind.
How can I leave it behind, when it pains so much?
You might say, and I know I’m asking too much,
But please do, somehow!
Because I just want to remove the blindfold….
My eyes hurt now, under the black veil,
They long to see their best friend; they don’t want to see in Braille,
They want to see you, to see the warmth of compassion,
Smiling back at them, when they are forgiven.
1:31 pm, 16th January 2010.
How does it feel to be neglected, when you are already grieving?
Additional bullets, when you are already bleeding?
Blindfolded, into darkness, falling.
That is exactly how it feels to me, I am writhing,
That is how sorry I am, I am not unfeeling,
That is how the remorse kills me, burning,
That is how much this is hurting.
Because I’m sorry, just so sorry for what I did,
I shouldn’t have done that, so I’m repenting my deed,
I know we can’t leave the past behind, it is so integral,
It shapes us, defining who we are.
The past haunts me, does it haunt you too?
Do you feel hurt, for what I did to you?
I know that it’s not easy to leave everything behind,
But I’m begging you for another chance, please do try!
It’s not easy to forget, to effortlessly let go,
It’s not easy not to feel anything at all,
But I’m wishing that you sincerely try,
And leave all this behind.
How can I leave it behind, when it pains so much?
You might say, and I know I’m asking too much,
But please do, somehow!
Because I just want to remove the blindfold….
My eyes hurt now, under the black veil,
They long to see their best friend; they don’t want to see in Braille,
They want to see you, to see the warmth of compassion,
Smiling back at them, when they are forgiven.
1:31 pm, 16th January 2010.
Guilty
I was no artist, I didn’t know how to play,
I was no athlete, I wasn’t in the game,
I quit before it was time,
Before I played, goodbye I bade.
Because I was scared, see? To venture into games.
It’s better to scream from the stadium, and my voice to rise,
In support, calling so distantly,
And yet stay near, possibly.
I had no courage, and I never admitted that,
I beat around the bush, I didn’t venture,
Because I don’t know what to do, I usually stall,
I guess that’s why I’m so unforgiven.
You know, I’m sorry, how can I convince?
Maybe I should just fall to your feet,
How else can I show my remorse, and regret?
How much more pathetic can this get?
Wrongs, crimes and so many faults,
Yes, I was just so flawed!
Yes, I was a sneak, so scandalous,
I was so proud, villainy, I showed.
I know today, that I infringed,
I understand how much I breached,
I kept my toe out of line,
And with guilt, fault intertwined.
Aha, it seeps now, into every nerve,
Flowing, the conscience, invading,
I cannot skip past it, I cannot swerve,
Resigned I am, to verdict, cruel.
12:56 am, 16th January, 2010.
I was no athlete, I wasn’t in the game,
I quit before it was time,
Before I played, goodbye I bade.
Because I was scared, see? To venture into games.
It’s better to scream from the stadium, and my voice to rise,
In support, calling so distantly,
And yet stay near, possibly.
I had no courage, and I never admitted that,
I beat around the bush, I didn’t venture,
Because I don’t know what to do, I usually stall,
I guess that’s why I’m so unforgiven.
You know, I’m sorry, how can I convince?
Maybe I should just fall to your feet,
How else can I show my remorse, and regret?
How much more pathetic can this get?
Wrongs, crimes and so many faults,
Yes, I was just so flawed!
Yes, I was a sneak, so scandalous,
I was so proud, villainy, I showed.
I know today, that I infringed,
I understand how much I breached,
I kept my toe out of line,
And with guilt, fault intertwined.
Aha, it seeps now, into every nerve,
Flowing, the conscience, invading,
I cannot skip past it, I cannot swerve,
Resigned I am, to verdict, cruel.
12:56 am, 16th January, 2010.
Futile Games
As words within me scurry,
To and fro, in such a hurry,
I cast away, all my worries,
And delight myself, in memory.
They tickle me sometimes, they are as sweet as you,
They play with me sometimes, adorable and cute,
Those little words, which have no meaning,
They are born of my growing memories.
When I think of you, it is such things, that spring,
And as words scurry, so quick, lending,
More to my paper, they tell me everything,
Sometimes it is those nonsense words that set this going.
These words, are like secrets, like our little quirks,
There words are not profound, in my head, they lurk,
Purely different words, English doesn’t know them,
When I think of you, invented is a new language.
Words which say all the sweet things, words which connected,
Words which spoke of great things, to soul, dejected,
Words that now scurry, playing cat and mouse,
Quickly tap my fingers, oh, it’s such a rush!!
But are they all that’s left, only mere words?
Only in black and white, on stale paper?
Won’t your voice ring through then, clear?
Why do you have to be so distant, so far?
Oh, words, they can scurry, they can play,
They can occasionally amuse, but they cannot drain,
The emptiness that occupies, the sorrow that spreads,
They cannot take that away, try they may.
So, speak to me, please, words always can’t
Replace the voice, that once was,
So cheerful and pleasant in my ear,
Come back, please, reappear.
12:43 am, 16th January, 2010.
To and fro, in such a hurry,
I cast away, all my worries,
And delight myself, in memory.
They tickle me sometimes, they are as sweet as you,
They play with me sometimes, adorable and cute,
Those little words, which have no meaning,
They are born of my growing memories.
When I think of you, it is such things, that spring,
And as words scurry, so quick, lending,
More to my paper, they tell me everything,
Sometimes it is those nonsense words that set this going.
These words, are like secrets, like our little quirks,
There words are not profound, in my head, they lurk,
Purely different words, English doesn’t know them,
When I think of you, invented is a new language.
Words which say all the sweet things, words which connected,
Words which spoke of great things, to soul, dejected,
Words that now scurry, playing cat and mouse,
Quickly tap my fingers, oh, it’s such a rush!!
But are they all that’s left, only mere words?
Only in black and white, on stale paper?
Won’t your voice ring through then, clear?
Why do you have to be so distant, so far?
Oh, words, they can scurry, they can play,
They can occasionally amuse, but they cannot drain,
The emptiness that occupies, the sorrow that spreads,
They cannot take that away, try they may.
So, speak to me, please, words always can’t
Replace the voice, that once was,
So cheerful and pleasant in my ear,
Come back, please, reappear.
12:43 am, 16th January, 2010.
Hibiscus
On midsummer’s day, as hours trickled past,
I ventured into tropical garden, at last,
A favorite flower I spotted,
Hibiscus, tempting and red.
The perfect flower, the best there was,
With floral petals spread out,
It smiled my way, just so soft,
Tender, and vivacious, it laughed.
I joined in, taken in,
By beauty, so startling,
The flower so perfect, adorning,
I stood there, mesmerized and admiring.
There were other flowers in the garden,
But I couldn’t see,
Petunias, begonias and green pea,
Growing plants of the garden, but they weren’t pretty.
‘twas only the hibiscus that appealed to me,
The one to which sunbirds returned, thronging,
The one who delighted, with vibrant colors,
The one that stood apart, sweet was the nectar.
The hibiscus is such a difficult flower,
To fully describe in entirety,
The one, that held all the power,
To melt another heart, completely.
Such was the hibiscus, and I was amazed,
I never saw it wilt, although I wilted away,
The garden, as I passed, I longingly looked back,
At the hibiscus trilling to midsummer rain.
12:31 am, 16th January, 2010.
I ventured into tropical garden, at last,
A favorite flower I spotted,
Hibiscus, tempting and red.
The perfect flower, the best there was,
With floral petals spread out,
It smiled my way, just so soft,
Tender, and vivacious, it laughed.
I joined in, taken in,
By beauty, so startling,
The flower so perfect, adorning,
I stood there, mesmerized and admiring.
There were other flowers in the garden,
But I couldn’t see,
Petunias, begonias and green pea,
Growing plants of the garden, but they weren’t pretty.
‘twas only the hibiscus that appealed to me,
The one to which sunbirds returned, thronging,
The one who delighted, with vibrant colors,
The one that stood apart, sweet was the nectar.
The hibiscus is such a difficult flower,
To fully describe in entirety,
The one, that held all the power,
To melt another heart, completely.
Such was the hibiscus, and I was amazed,
I never saw it wilt, although I wilted away,
The garden, as I passed, I longingly looked back,
At the hibiscus trilling to midsummer rain.
12:31 am, 16th January, 2010.
And then
I was happy and then
I was content and then
I was silly and then
I was impudent and then…..
When did the now, become an and then?
Oh answer me, when was it, when?
Oh, from where do I begin?
When did beginning see and end?
I was stupid, and then,
I also turned so stubborn,
Aha, but it questions me time and again,
Why did the now become an and then?
Why did it have to be an “and then”
When it didn’t have to see an end?
When did unhappiness creep into my den?
Altering, and changing course?
And then again, there you are,
Begone and yet not gone,
And then again, here I am,
Show me some sympathy.
We were friends, such good ones, and then….
We exchanged so many mails, and then,
I lied behind your back and then….
The now became an and then….
12:20 am, 16th January, 2010.
I was content and then
I was silly and then
I was impudent and then…..
When did the now, become an and then?
Oh answer me, when was it, when?
Oh, from where do I begin?
When did beginning see and end?
I was stupid, and then,
I also turned so stubborn,
Aha, but it questions me time and again,
Why did the now become an and then?
Why did it have to be an “and then”
When it didn’t have to see an end?
When did unhappiness creep into my den?
Altering, and changing course?
And then again, there you are,
Begone and yet not gone,
And then again, here I am,
Show me some sympathy.
We were friends, such good ones, and then….
We exchanged so many mails, and then,
I lied behind your back and then….
The now became an and then….
12:20 am, 16th January, 2010.
When we had been smiling
There were days, when we had been smiling,
Over small inconsequential things
And now, the smile ain’t forming,
Frowns are replacing.
I’m sorry to be acting this depressed,
I have no right to be,
Burdening you with my woes,
But I ain’t smiling.
Because when guilt is behind your back,
Always staying there, pricking,
How can I giggle, how can I feel like laughing?
When everything is just so wrong?
How can I smile, without ever correcting?
The mistakes along my way, erasing,
How can I smile, without understanding,
That it requires some effort to undo what hath been done?
My smile, had been my asset,
I don’t know who took it away, maybe it was me,
Aha, gone it is now, just like you,
To laugh again, seems impossible.
Until you forgive of course, until you say yes,
That you forgive me for all my mistakes,
Then you can see my smile,
See the light back on my face.
So we may laugh like our carefree days,
When things were so sweet,
So that we make keep in memories,
How good friends we were!!!
12:11 am, 16th January, 2010.
Over small inconsequential things
And now, the smile ain’t forming,
Frowns are replacing.
I’m sorry to be acting this depressed,
I have no right to be,
Burdening you with my woes,
But I ain’t smiling.
Because when guilt is behind your back,
Always staying there, pricking,
How can I giggle, how can I feel like laughing?
When everything is just so wrong?
How can I smile, without ever correcting?
The mistakes along my way, erasing,
How can I smile, without understanding,
That it requires some effort to undo what hath been done?
My smile, had been my asset,
I don’t know who took it away, maybe it was me,
Aha, gone it is now, just like you,
To laugh again, seems impossible.
Until you forgive of course, until you say yes,
That you forgive me for all my mistakes,
Then you can see my smile,
See the light back on my face.
So we may laugh like our carefree days,
When things were so sweet,
So that we make keep in memories,
How good friends we were!!!
12:11 am, 16th January, 2010.
20 pages
Once upon a time, I very well remember,
That 20 pages had been asked,
20 pages written in love,
20 pages, I had promised.
20 pages, with words to describe,
How you made life paradise,
20 pages to fully capture,
The essence of man who had enraptured.
20 pages, written in hand,
20 pages, from my pen,
20 pages, full of scribbles,
20 pages, full of love.
I had tried to write that 20 then,
Quickly, as soon as possible,
But to capture you had failed my pen,
No matter how hard I had tried.
20 pages, when you had asked,
I thought I could do much better,
Why not more than 25, I had thought,
For my best friend on this planet?
Why not a book, why not a trifle more,
It would be trivial, thought my pen, but it was wrong,
You were perfect enigma, the perfect mystery,
The 20 pages couldn’t fully describe, my own pen cheated me.
Oh, when I was so in love, when I thought this was life,
When I was so young, and so unabashed,
When I didn’t know how to behave, what would hurt,
When I didn’t know relationships, when I was innocent…..
20 pages to you, I could not complete,
20 pages to you, I had written, like burden,
But when all is lost, when I’m abandoned,
I can write you 20 more, without a reason.
Not 20 now, this time, a 100,
I can write, this is incredible, moves my pen,
I could write books now, so much more,
Because when you left, only then did I realize how much you meant.
You meant everything to me, now I know,
You were everything to me, I never thought this much,
Back then, it was uncomplicated and simple,
But now, my remorse is not something trivial.
So, more than 20 I have written,
Hoping to be forgiven,
This is showing how precious you are to me,
You are perfect enigma, the 20 pages shall never reach….
4:53 pm, 13th January, 2010.
That 20 pages had been asked,
20 pages written in love,
20 pages, I had promised.
20 pages, with words to describe,
How you made life paradise,
20 pages to fully capture,
The essence of man who had enraptured.
20 pages, written in hand,
20 pages, from my pen,
20 pages, full of scribbles,
20 pages, full of love.
I had tried to write that 20 then,
Quickly, as soon as possible,
But to capture you had failed my pen,
No matter how hard I had tried.
20 pages, when you had asked,
I thought I could do much better,
Why not more than 25, I had thought,
For my best friend on this planet?
Why not a book, why not a trifle more,
It would be trivial, thought my pen, but it was wrong,
You were perfect enigma, the perfect mystery,
The 20 pages couldn’t fully describe, my own pen cheated me.
Oh, when I was so in love, when I thought this was life,
When I was so young, and so unabashed,
When I didn’t know how to behave, what would hurt,
When I didn’t know relationships, when I was innocent…..
20 pages to you, I could not complete,
20 pages to you, I had written, like burden,
But when all is lost, when I’m abandoned,
I can write you 20 more, without a reason.
Not 20 now, this time, a 100,
I can write, this is incredible, moves my pen,
I could write books now, so much more,
Because when you left, only then did I realize how much you meant.
You meant everything to me, now I know,
You were everything to me, I never thought this much,
Back then, it was uncomplicated and simple,
But now, my remorse is not something trivial.
So, more than 20 I have written,
Hoping to be forgiven,
This is showing how precious you are to me,
You are perfect enigma, the 20 pages shall never reach….
4:53 pm, 13th January, 2010.
Spy
Do you know how often I revisit
The times of yore, and reconsider?
Do you know how often I spy,
When you are unknowing, in deep in slumber?
Do you know how often I go to your profile,
Once again, and peep at memories,
Staring back at me, I know I cannot change it, I’m puerile,
But I still go back, to you, to all we were.
I spy those pictures that we took carelessly,
Those moments frozen in half smiles,
Light hearted and just so carefree,
Those moments were so important, even my camera didn’t know then.
I try to visit your profile, to see what you do,
I shouldn’t be spying this much, but I’m just
So obsessed with you, I cannot stop myself,
Oh what do I do? I just cannot get rid of you!
I spy you everywhere, yes I do,
Every little strand of memory that holds you,
I clutch at you greedily, even if I don’t have a right to,
Because it has ended in air of finality.
Then why is it that I refuse to believe?
Why do I delude myself, disbelieve?
Why am I so caught up, why do I step behind,
Why can’t I move forward, why am I stuck in quagmire?
Oh, why do I spy like that, when I know you don’t want to answer,
When I know you consider me someone evil,
But please, I beg you now, I don’t want to just spy,
I want you to talk, my angel, I want you back!!
4:40 pm, 13th January, 2010.
The times of yore, and reconsider?
Do you know how often I spy,
When you are unknowing, in deep in slumber?
Do you know how often I go to your profile,
Once again, and peep at memories,
Staring back at me, I know I cannot change it, I’m puerile,
But I still go back, to you, to all we were.
I spy those pictures that we took carelessly,
Those moments frozen in half smiles,
Light hearted and just so carefree,
Those moments were so important, even my camera didn’t know then.
I try to visit your profile, to see what you do,
I shouldn’t be spying this much, but I’m just
So obsessed with you, I cannot stop myself,
Oh what do I do? I just cannot get rid of you!
I spy you everywhere, yes I do,
Every little strand of memory that holds you,
I clutch at you greedily, even if I don’t have a right to,
Because it has ended in air of finality.
Then why is it that I refuse to believe?
Why do I delude myself, disbelieve?
Why am I so caught up, why do I step behind,
Why can’t I move forward, why am I stuck in quagmire?
Oh, why do I spy like that, when I know you don’t want to answer,
When I know you consider me someone evil,
But please, I beg you now, I don’t want to just spy,
I want you to talk, my angel, I want you back!!
4:40 pm, 13th January, 2010.
Last Talk
The talk concluded, but so much remained unsaid.
Mute voices remain, calling when it all over.
Singing to me, groaning sometimes,
Questioning, and not finding an answer.
I don’t know how to be a poet, my dear,
I don’t know how to be right.
But today, here I am,
Finding meaning in my rhyme,
Aha, that last talk, do you remember?
The one which was hostile, even in whisper?
It was the talk, talked, in only words,
Words which escaped, but weren’t mouthed.
It was a talk, its arena, a blank screen,
A talk in black and white, it was my very words, which had screamed,
Oh no, this just cannot be!
But it had concluded, and brown had turned the green.
It had remained glaring, for many seconds afterwards,
The screen, so black now, so luminiscent, the opposite,
Of the hollowness I had began to feel,
How is it that words ever assumed this potency?
Words were my best friends, with them I toyed,
They were my messengers, they were my swords,
But when mine own swords become pricing daggers,
Where do I turn, what choice do I have but to feel the burn?
My own words, spoken and unspoken,
Told me so many things, in every single verse,
But it was the lack of them, that had turned,
My paradise into living hell.
Now in this simmering cauldron,
Swim words, so many,
And yet, in wild abandon,
Unspoken in the growing agony.
2:13 am, 11th January, 2010.
Mute voices remain, calling when it all over.
Singing to me, groaning sometimes,
Questioning, and not finding an answer.
I don’t know how to be a poet, my dear,
I don’t know how to be right.
But today, here I am,
Finding meaning in my rhyme,
Aha, that last talk, do you remember?
The one which was hostile, even in whisper?
It was the talk, talked, in only words,
Words which escaped, but weren’t mouthed.
It was a talk, its arena, a blank screen,
A talk in black and white, it was my very words, which had screamed,
Oh no, this just cannot be!
But it had concluded, and brown had turned the green.
It had remained glaring, for many seconds afterwards,
The screen, so black now, so luminiscent, the opposite,
Of the hollowness I had began to feel,
How is it that words ever assumed this potency?
Words were my best friends, with them I toyed,
They were my messengers, they were my swords,
But when mine own swords become pricing daggers,
Where do I turn, what choice do I have but to feel the burn?
My own words, spoken and unspoken,
Told me so many things, in every single verse,
But it was the lack of them, that had turned,
My paradise into living hell.
Now in this simmering cauldron,
Swim words, so many,
And yet, in wild abandon,
Unspoken in the growing agony.
2:13 am, 11th January, 2010.
I see you
I saw a movie yesterday,
Avatar, it was named,
Characters, came and went,
Painted bold, in imagination.
It was a different land, some bewitching place,
It was actually not there,
But even the virtual had felt so real,
It was an experience, it was surreal.
But even to heights as human imagination ventures,
Even if, so many things, it abhors,
Feelings, fundamental, it cannot ignore,
With emotions, intense, it cannot war.
So, into such a wild movie, they seeped,
Affection, because to audiences, it appeals,
Because when you talk of such things, movie’s sell,
All is happy, and all is well.
But when you analyze and go a little beyond,
You will see meaning, within the direction,
Drama appeals, because all humans need,
Emotional support in their life, for that they are made.
So just like her, I shall tell you my words,
I see you, friend, almost always,
She might be just an imaginary character,
You can perceive me a vision too, and you may answer.
I see you, today I say,
Because I fell in love with the phrase,
It’s just like our other emblems, other songs,
But then, this is unique, this isn’t long.
I see you, I do not know why,
I see you, because I do!
I see you, even when I’m blind,
I see you, so be kind.
1:03 am, 11th January, 2010.
Avatar, it was named,
Characters, came and went,
Painted bold, in imagination.
It was a different land, some bewitching place,
It was actually not there,
But even the virtual had felt so real,
It was an experience, it was surreal.
But even to heights as human imagination ventures,
Even if, so many things, it abhors,
Feelings, fundamental, it cannot ignore,
With emotions, intense, it cannot war.
So, into such a wild movie, they seeped,
Affection, because to audiences, it appeals,
Because when you talk of such things, movie’s sell,
All is happy, and all is well.
But when you analyze and go a little beyond,
You will see meaning, within the direction,
Drama appeals, because all humans need,
Emotional support in their life, for that they are made.
So just like her, I shall tell you my words,
I see you, friend, almost always,
She might be just an imaginary character,
You can perceive me a vision too, and you may answer.
I see you, today I say,
Because I fell in love with the phrase,
It’s just like our other emblems, other songs,
But then, this is unique, this isn’t long.
I see you, I do not know why,
I see you, because I do!
I see you, even when I’m blind,
I see you, so be kind.
1:03 am, 11th January, 2010.
Things unsaid
There is one thing I have never told you,
One day, as it rained, I had waited for you,
In the cold, hoping you would come around,
Even if you had been just so far.
Yes, in the cold, in sweater clad,
I had waited, hoping you would suddenly emerge,
Hoping that we could have held hands,
And walked homeward, together.
There is one thing that I have never told you,
When I was travelling in the car, I had remembered you,
Sitting there in the backseat and thinking,
How special you had been.
Yes, it was a monsoon’s evening, there had been a power-cut,
And I was dressed in a simple skirt,
By a lone lamp, I had stayed,
I had seen you, in flickering flame.
I have never told you that I had dreamed,
Of you falling into a manhole, dying,
I had woken up in the middle of the night sweating,
My salty tears, in terror, wiping.
As one day, the coconuts had swayed,
I had let my dreams too, sway,
And I had dreamt of grander things,
Life felt so ethereal, so vivid.
I have never told you so many things,
Time never gave me the opportunity,
You’ve only known my crueler side,
My cruel thoughts, you spied.
But in me, is also a shy dreamer,
Who wants to tell you the things she never told you before,
In me is the loving storyteller,
Who’s masterpiece is you, you are the one she adores.
12:51 am, 11th January, 2010.
One day, as it rained, I had waited for you,
In the cold, hoping you would come around,
Even if you had been just so far.
Yes, in the cold, in sweater clad,
I had waited, hoping you would suddenly emerge,
Hoping that we could have held hands,
And walked homeward, together.
There is one thing that I have never told you,
When I was travelling in the car, I had remembered you,
Sitting there in the backseat and thinking,
How special you had been.
Yes, it was a monsoon’s evening, there had been a power-cut,
And I was dressed in a simple skirt,
By a lone lamp, I had stayed,
I had seen you, in flickering flame.
I have never told you that I had dreamed,
Of you falling into a manhole, dying,
I had woken up in the middle of the night sweating,
My salty tears, in terror, wiping.
As one day, the coconuts had swayed,
I had let my dreams too, sway,
And I had dreamt of grander things,
Life felt so ethereal, so vivid.
I have never told you so many things,
Time never gave me the opportunity,
You’ve only known my crueler side,
My cruel thoughts, you spied.
But in me, is also a shy dreamer,
Who wants to tell you the things she never told you before,
In me is the loving storyteller,
Who’s masterpiece is you, you are the one she adores.
12:51 am, 11th January, 2010.
Inspiration
I sang 10 songs today, all to you,
My songbird sang, 9 and one more,
Ten today, at midnight hour,
All for you, friend.
I sang ten today, but I’m not proud,
I sang ten today, without a sound,
All I know is that my effort is sincere,
All I know is I’m frenzied, here.
It’s power friend, of different form,
It flows, suddenly the expression,
You are inspiration, you are the whole song!
You are the rhythm you are this whole blog!
The power is you, that rests on my pen,
The power is you, my catalyst,
The power is you, that never makes me rest,
The power is you, that makes me write in frenzy.
The power is you, your memory,
The power is you, your smile,
The power is in remembering,
And then to words, I’m converting.
It’s not easy, to write on other things,
It’s actually difficult, authoring,
But when I think of you it’s all easy,
Because you are my power, lifeblood to my pen.
Your memory burns strong, in every corner,
You are haunting inspiration to me,
It’s magical how much I can write,
Even when it’s past midnight.
I’m not gloating of my talents right now,
I’m just letting you know that you are my inspiration,
In every one of these 100 songs,
I cannot stop describing you, I cannot go beyond.
12:42 am, 11th January, 2010.
My songbird sang, 9 and one more,
Ten today, at midnight hour,
All for you, friend.
I sang ten today, but I’m not proud,
I sang ten today, without a sound,
All I know is that my effort is sincere,
All I know is I’m frenzied, here.
It’s power friend, of different form,
It flows, suddenly the expression,
You are inspiration, you are the whole song!
You are the rhythm you are this whole blog!
The power is you, that rests on my pen,
The power is you, my catalyst,
The power is you, that never makes me rest,
The power is you, that makes me write in frenzy.
The power is you, your memory,
The power is you, your smile,
The power is in remembering,
And then to words, I’m converting.
It’s not easy, to write on other things,
It’s actually difficult, authoring,
But when I think of you it’s all easy,
Because you are my power, lifeblood to my pen.
Your memory burns strong, in every corner,
You are haunting inspiration to me,
It’s magical how much I can write,
Even when it’s past midnight.
I’m not gloating of my talents right now,
I’m just letting you know that you are my inspiration,
In every one of these 100 songs,
I cannot stop describing you, I cannot go beyond.
12:42 am, 11th January, 2010.
Returning
I speak to you, even when you can’t hear,
I cling to you, even when you aren’t there,
I laugh with you, at the jokes you once made,
I sing to you, even when you are asleep.
I play with you, so many, imaginary games,
I dream with you, aspiring, it’s all the same,
I wait for you, every single day,
I hope for you, for you, pray.
I wish for your good health, sincerely,
Even if you are so away, and not listening,
I see you, whenever I want,
In reflections, I can conjure you.
When somebody else passes by,
Somebody with a slight beard, with their head held high,
I recognize you in them, I see your face,
Their rigid features, you replace.
When I dissolve into my favorite songs,
All my words sing of you,
Every lyric and every rhyme,
Tell your stories, of our times.
As I stare at random eyes,
I see yours, staring back,
As I gaze into the starlit skies,
I can discern your face, by connecting the dots.
When somebody speaks of anything beautiful,
You spring to mind, so enchanting,
Whenever, fresh air, I take a lungful,
You return, reminding.
12:34 pm, January, 10th 2010.
I cling to you, even when you aren’t there,
I laugh with you, at the jokes you once made,
I sing to you, even when you are asleep.
I play with you, so many, imaginary games,
I dream with you, aspiring, it’s all the same,
I wait for you, every single day,
I hope for you, for you, pray.
I wish for your good health, sincerely,
Even if you are so away, and not listening,
I see you, whenever I want,
In reflections, I can conjure you.
When somebody else passes by,
Somebody with a slight beard, with their head held high,
I recognize you in them, I see your face,
Their rigid features, you replace.
When I dissolve into my favorite songs,
All my words sing of you,
Every lyric and every rhyme,
Tell your stories, of our times.
As I stare at random eyes,
I see yours, staring back,
As I gaze into the starlit skies,
I can discern your face, by connecting the dots.
When somebody speaks of anything beautiful,
You spring to mind, so enchanting,
Whenever, fresh air, I take a lungful,
You return, reminding.
12:34 pm, January, 10th 2010.
Melt
It takes fire to melt iron,
And for cream, the stubborn sun,
It takes but little to melt,
But are you iron-willed?
It takes a spurn, to tame the horse,
It takes order, to subdue the laughs,
It takes authority, to order,
It takes skilled hands to solder.
But you can’t be tamed, your spirit is free,
You can’t take orders, I cannot order thee,
On you, I cannot establish my authority,
You are not metal, to solder.
Will you not melt, even after I tell you,
Even after I show you how sorry I am?
Will you not melt, the burning flame you don’t require,
All you need to do is listen to your heart.
I listen to mine, see, and I’m repentant,
I’ve understood all my mistakes,
And one by one, I fully confess,
All my mistakes, I am ashamed of them.
Please, be kind to me….even though I did a wrong,
I was a monster, but you don’t have to be one,
Please don’t be stubborn, it pricks me,
And I bleed, continually.
If I hurt you, should you hurt me?
But an eye for an eye, makes the world blind.
I did a wrong, should you too?
I was stupid, please don’t be unforgiving.
I beg for mercy, I beg for it!
My life is gone, please, forgive!
Forgive, I saw, my scream is loud,
Blaring, apparent, I’m howling, aloud!
12:27 pm, 11th January, 2010.
And for cream, the stubborn sun,
It takes but little to melt,
But are you iron-willed?
It takes a spurn, to tame the horse,
It takes order, to subdue the laughs,
It takes authority, to order,
It takes skilled hands to solder.
But you can’t be tamed, your spirit is free,
You can’t take orders, I cannot order thee,
On you, I cannot establish my authority,
You are not metal, to solder.
Will you not melt, even after I tell you,
Even after I show you how sorry I am?
Will you not melt, the burning flame you don’t require,
All you need to do is listen to your heart.
I listen to mine, see, and I’m repentant,
I’ve understood all my mistakes,
And one by one, I fully confess,
All my mistakes, I am ashamed of them.
Please, be kind to me….even though I did a wrong,
I was a monster, but you don’t have to be one,
Please don’t be stubborn, it pricks me,
And I bleed, continually.
If I hurt you, should you hurt me?
But an eye for an eye, makes the world blind.
I did a wrong, should you too?
I was stupid, please don’t be unforgiving.
I beg for mercy, I beg for it!
My life is gone, please, forgive!
Forgive, I saw, my scream is loud,
Blaring, apparent, I’m howling, aloud!
12:27 pm, 11th January, 2010.
Is it all a dream?
Life is a game, with its heights and lows,
But it doesn’t have to be this low,
The high tide, may any time rise,
But in my world, agony is cloaked disguise.
I dream every day of happy endings,
I dream of you returning,
I dream of being forgiven,
I dream, so continually.
I dream, without respite,
I dream, even though I lied,
I dream, even logic defies existence,
I dream, expectant.
I dream, without fear,
All I know is that I want you here,
I dream, this isn’t reality,
I’m insane, I cannot differentiate.
I wish I might continue to sleep,
May deep stay the slumber so my dreams I may keep,
Because I want to dream, forever,
That’s the only way to hold you near.
Were you just, another dream?
A chimera, a vision, and illusion?
Were you just like the clinging dew,
Which disappears, with afternoon?
Were you somebody I never knew?
Were you a figment of imagination?
Was I insane, was I stupid?
To imagine that you’ll stay…my perfect angel?
Because somebody so perfect deserves the skies!!!
Not a stupid girl who always lies!
Someone so perfect, someone so skilled,
Belongs with the celestial, and not with fools, strong-willed!
Hasn’t your heart melted to my anguish,
Which is eroding my soul, slowly?
Please come back, I promise,
Never to hurt you again, the saline tears overflow….
12:19 am, 11th January, 2010.
But it doesn’t have to be this low,
The high tide, may any time rise,
But in my world, agony is cloaked disguise.
I dream every day of happy endings,
I dream of you returning,
I dream of being forgiven,
I dream, so continually.
I dream, without respite,
I dream, even though I lied,
I dream, even logic defies existence,
I dream, expectant.
I dream, without fear,
All I know is that I want you here,
I dream, this isn’t reality,
I’m insane, I cannot differentiate.
I wish I might continue to sleep,
May deep stay the slumber so my dreams I may keep,
Because I want to dream, forever,
That’s the only way to hold you near.
Were you just, another dream?
A chimera, a vision, and illusion?
Were you just like the clinging dew,
Which disappears, with afternoon?
Were you somebody I never knew?
Were you a figment of imagination?
Was I insane, was I stupid?
To imagine that you’ll stay…my perfect angel?
Because somebody so perfect deserves the skies!!!
Not a stupid girl who always lies!
Someone so perfect, someone so skilled,
Belongs with the celestial, and not with fools, strong-willed!
Hasn’t your heart melted to my anguish,
Which is eroding my soul, slowly?
Please come back, I promise,
Never to hurt you again, the saline tears overflow….
12:19 am, 11th January, 2010.
In the end
When humans die, I’ve often wondered,
What is the last thing that they remember?
Do they think of their grand achievements?
Or their life’s most glorious moments?
In that very last instant,
When they know all is coming to an end,
What is the last thing that the eye sees?
Does it speak in emotion, what does it believe?
In the end, when it’s dying,
When those heavy lids are closing,
When the weak pulse is slowing,
When the pain is growing,
When you twist, with it all,
When your body doesn’t cooperate,
When you lose, sensation,
What does your mind, see in the end?
Does it go back, does it rewind,
Does it see into the future, does it anticipate?
Does it struggle does it sweat?
Does it feel anger, does it get scared?
Well, one thing I know, even if things are uncertain,
In the end, I don’t know what I’ll remember,
But there is something I don’t want to see,
An unforigven poetess, in the end, I don’t wanna be.
Unforgiven, I don’t want to die,
Unforgiven, before my eyes lose their sight,
In the end, I want to smile,
In the knowledge that my sin has been pardoned, I shall leave with pleasant goodbye.
12:09 am, 11th January, 2010.
What is the last thing that they remember?
Do they think of their grand achievements?
Or their life’s most glorious moments?
In that very last instant,
When they know all is coming to an end,
What is the last thing that the eye sees?
Does it speak in emotion, what does it believe?
In the end, when it’s dying,
When those heavy lids are closing,
When the weak pulse is slowing,
When the pain is growing,
When you twist, with it all,
When your body doesn’t cooperate,
When you lose, sensation,
What does your mind, see in the end?
Does it go back, does it rewind,
Does it see into the future, does it anticipate?
Does it struggle does it sweat?
Does it feel anger, does it get scared?
Well, one thing I know, even if things are uncertain,
In the end, I don’t know what I’ll remember,
But there is something I don’t want to see,
An unforigven poetess, in the end, I don’t wanna be.
Unforgiven, I don’t want to die,
Unforgiven, before my eyes lose their sight,
In the end, I want to smile,
In the knowledge that my sin has been pardoned, I shall leave with pleasant goodbye.
12:09 am, 11th January, 2010.
Disaster
You were a wonderful poet, better than me,
You wrote in couplets, and sometimes didn’t speak,
But I knew you, understood your magic,
It was something euphoric, splendid.
Elegant was your hand, as was your gaze,
Wow, it was just so suave,
You were grand, all was fine,
Yes, all was fine, before I lied.
I was confused, I was unknowing,
I didn’t mean it, I know it’s hard for you to believe,
Aha, but then, you are a master,
I know you can see though, but I didn’t foresee a disaster.
Disaster, this is in essence, because something had been built,
Since years, so gently nourished,
And when something like that falls, it is disaster,
Something that pricks, forever.
Something that grew, so naturally,
Something that blossomed, effortlessly,
Something that didn’t depend on sunshine,
Something just so sublime.
Aha, it’s disaster, but it’s not a storm,
Nor an earthquake, it has no form,
But all I know is that it’s a disaster,
Rocking, tearing and sinister.
It’s disaster when all is gone,
It’s disaster when life changes form,
It’s disaster, it’s destroying,
It’s disaster, eating.
After the storm, comes the lull,
Without you, life is dull,
Disaster reoccurs every day,
Ever since the second, I betrayed.
12:02 am, 11th January, 2010.
You wrote in couplets, and sometimes didn’t speak,
But I knew you, understood your magic,
It was something euphoric, splendid.
Elegant was your hand, as was your gaze,
Wow, it was just so suave,
You were grand, all was fine,
Yes, all was fine, before I lied.
I was confused, I was unknowing,
I didn’t mean it, I know it’s hard for you to believe,
Aha, but then, you are a master,
I know you can see though, but I didn’t foresee a disaster.
Disaster, this is in essence, because something had been built,
Since years, so gently nourished,
And when something like that falls, it is disaster,
Something that pricks, forever.
Something that grew, so naturally,
Something that blossomed, effortlessly,
Something that didn’t depend on sunshine,
Something just so sublime.
Aha, it’s disaster, but it’s not a storm,
Nor an earthquake, it has no form,
But all I know is that it’s a disaster,
Rocking, tearing and sinister.
It’s disaster when all is gone,
It’s disaster when life changes form,
It’s disaster, it’s destroying,
It’s disaster, eating.
After the storm, comes the lull,
Without you, life is dull,
Disaster reoccurs every day,
Ever since the second, I betrayed.
12:02 am, 11th January, 2010.
Forgive.
They were your words, your claim,
Your justice, your blame,
Your justified anger, your flame,
Your willpower, but my bane.
It was statement, unsaid, yet empathetic,
You make my heart bleed.
Did I stab you again and again,
With my sharp words, did I give you pain?
Of course, I did, what a stupid thing to ask,
It was stupid of me, terrible, wrong,
Yes, put the blame on me!
Hurt me, please, curse me!
Have you decided on utter damnation,
As punishment to this cruel soul, renunciation?
Will you go away and stop talking?
Do you know even your silence, keeps talking?
I was wrong, I need to boil in hellfire,
I did a wrong, I was a lair,
I marred you, hurt you behind your back,
Oh god, I was just so wrong!
Some human beings are curses,
And others, are angels,
Angel you are, without a doubt,
And I am about to fall out.
I wish, sometimes, that I never existed,
Then there wouldn’t be misery, this wouldn’t have happened,
You would have been happy, and just so content,
You wouldn’t be like this, wounded.
Aha, then I wouldn’t have been hurt too, I would not be there,
So I guess this sinner, you shouldn’t spare,
It’s right to be like that, because your heart I hurt,
But I’m begging you, for an unjust favor.
Give me a chance, please, please, do,
The pain on me, is like a tattoo,
Please be there, the anguish, subdue,
So that I may in gratefulness mutter my thank you.
11:51 pm, 10th January 2010.
Your justice, your blame,
Your justified anger, your flame,
Your willpower, but my bane.
It was statement, unsaid, yet empathetic,
You make my heart bleed.
Did I stab you again and again,
With my sharp words, did I give you pain?
Of course, I did, what a stupid thing to ask,
It was stupid of me, terrible, wrong,
Yes, put the blame on me!
Hurt me, please, curse me!
Have you decided on utter damnation,
As punishment to this cruel soul, renunciation?
Will you go away and stop talking?
Do you know even your silence, keeps talking?
I was wrong, I need to boil in hellfire,
I did a wrong, I was a lair,
I marred you, hurt you behind your back,
Oh god, I was just so wrong!
Some human beings are curses,
And others, are angels,
Angel you are, without a doubt,
And I am about to fall out.
I wish, sometimes, that I never existed,
Then there wouldn’t be misery, this wouldn’t have happened,
You would have been happy, and just so content,
You wouldn’t be like this, wounded.
Aha, then I wouldn’t have been hurt too, I would not be there,
So I guess this sinner, you shouldn’t spare,
It’s right to be like that, because your heart I hurt,
But I’m begging you, for an unjust favor.
Give me a chance, please, please, do,
The pain on me, is like a tattoo,
Please be there, the anguish, subdue,
So that I may in gratefulness mutter my thank you.
11:51 pm, 10th January 2010.
Me...and You.
The moon and the sun,
The stars and the skies,
Clouds and vapor,
Green and leaves,
Growth and trees,
Determination and the sapling,
Calculator and quick thinking,
Entertainment and the TV,
Pleasure and a good book,
Smile and teeth,
Eyes and sight,
Lungs and breathing,
Duck and pond,
Paper and pen,
Thought and imagination,
Emotion and heart,
Memories and a good laugh,
First place and gold,
Corpse and grave,
Flower on hair,
Nectar and the bee,
Butterfly, on wings,
Spark and raging fire,
Water and frothing sea,
Tree and shade,
Mango and juice,
Oasis and desert,
A strong connection.
Book and page,
Story and storyteller,
Visions and dreamer,
Palette and color,
Ivory and the tusker,
White and the swan,
Fragrance and rose,
Lilly and serenity,
Sunrise and breathtaking,
Bleeding wound and bandage,
Fractured limb and pain,
Poetry and charm,
maple and autumn,
Revival and spring,
Heat and summer,
Cold and winter,
Borders to a country,
Voice to songbird,
Rain to monsoon,
Stitch, with thread,
Pearl to oyester,
Mountain to explorer,
Discovery to scientist,
Electron and atom,
Dyanmic and chemistry,
Laws and Physics,
Calenders and dates,
Music and i-pods,
Messages and mails,
Birthdays and cakes,
Monkeys and bananas,
Windy, yet pleasant.
Me…...and you.
11:34 pm, 10th january, 2010.
The stars and the skies,
Clouds and vapor,
Green and leaves,
Growth and trees,
Determination and the sapling,
Calculator and quick thinking,
Entertainment and the TV,
Pleasure and a good book,
Smile and teeth,
Eyes and sight,
Lungs and breathing,
Duck and pond,
Paper and pen,
Thought and imagination,
Emotion and heart,
Memories and a good laugh,
First place and gold,
Corpse and grave,
Flower on hair,
Nectar and the bee,
Butterfly, on wings,
Spark and raging fire,
Water and frothing sea,
Tree and shade,
Mango and juice,
Oasis and desert,
A strong connection.
Book and page,
Story and storyteller,
Visions and dreamer,
Palette and color,
Ivory and the tusker,
White and the swan,
Fragrance and rose,
Lilly and serenity,
Sunrise and breathtaking,
Bleeding wound and bandage,
Fractured limb and pain,
Poetry and charm,
maple and autumn,
Revival and spring,
Heat and summer,
Cold and winter,
Borders to a country,
Voice to songbird,
Rain to monsoon,
Stitch, with thread,
Pearl to oyester,
Mountain to explorer,
Discovery to scientist,
Electron and atom,
Dyanmic and chemistry,
Laws and Physics,
Calenders and dates,
Music and i-pods,
Messages and mails,
Birthdays and cakes,
Monkeys and bananas,
Windy, yet pleasant.
Me…...and you.
11:34 pm, 10th january, 2010.
Come back....please.
There were many things in life that I wanted to abandon,
Horrible fears that plagued, from them, I wanted to run,
I wanted to sprint, wanted to escape,
I wanted the danger to go away.
Anxiety and depressions,
Fear and aggression,
Stupid dreams and jealousy,
Self-condemnation and other such things.
I wanted them all to leave quietly,
Exit from my life so that peaceful I could be,
But there were many other things I wanted,
I just desired people like you to stay.
People like you, the most important,
Cherished by my heart, with affection,
I wanted you to stay, I wanted you,
Was I selfish, in my claim over you?
Aha, but I didn’t want to chain,
So when you said you’d go, I didn’t complain,
I was just sad, because the fault was mine,
I was just so shocked and horrified.
But my anguish to you, I didn’t show,
Because that was the right thing to do, but in my mind, I travelled to and fro,
Between anguish and so deep a depression,
Between sorrow, and dejection.
All those feelings, I wanted to go away,
Came back to me, came back to scare,
And all that had once been withdrawn,
Reminded me that it was never gone.
But all that I wanted to stay,
Slowly, dissolved away,
But strong stays my desire,
Come back to me, please, this is dire.
11:26 pm, 10th January, 2010.
Horrible fears that plagued, from them, I wanted to run,
I wanted to sprint, wanted to escape,
I wanted the danger to go away.
Anxiety and depressions,
Fear and aggression,
Stupid dreams and jealousy,
Self-condemnation and other such things.
I wanted them all to leave quietly,
Exit from my life so that peaceful I could be,
But there were many other things I wanted,
I just desired people like you to stay.
People like you, the most important,
Cherished by my heart, with affection,
I wanted you to stay, I wanted you,
Was I selfish, in my claim over you?
Aha, but I didn’t want to chain,
So when you said you’d go, I didn’t complain,
I was just sad, because the fault was mine,
I was just so shocked and horrified.
But my anguish to you, I didn’t show,
Because that was the right thing to do, but in my mind, I travelled to and fro,
Between anguish and so deep a depression,
Between sorrow, and dejection.
All those feelings, I wanted to go away,
Came back to me, came back to scare,
And all that had once been withdrawn,
Reminded me that it was never gone.
But all that I wanted to stay,
Slowly, dissolved away,
But strong stays my desire,
Come back to me, please, this is dire.
11:26 pm, 10th January, 2010.
Unspoken
You know when I, to you, spoke,
I seemed to be touched with a magic stroke,
Because as my words to you, raced,
My heart too, so quickly raced.
I didn’t know why it happened that way,
I didn’t know anything, but guess I may,
That there was something quietly stirring,
Changing, explosively.
Yes, I spoke to you, often,
But so much, was unspoken,
Unspoken, the words, locked,
Unspoken, but still sought.
Unspoken, in personal heaven,
Floating, fantasizing and then,
You were there, whenever I summoned,
My imagination, you governed.
Unspoken were my words, so many
Unspoken, invisible, unseen,
Unspoken, in silence, heavy,
Unspoken, for eternity.
Unspoken, they were not mouthed,
Words, struggling in thought,
Unspoken, they were indistinct,
In some corner of my heart, they left an imprint.
Unspoken, they remain still, says shadow,
Unspoken, growing, although,
All optimism has evanesced,
The unspoken, still lingers.
11:16 pm, 10th January, 2010.
I seemed to be touched with a magic stroke,
Because as my words to you, raced,
My heart too, so quickly raced.
I didn’t know why it happened that way,
I didn’t know anything, but guess I may,
That there was something quietly stirring,
Changing, explosively.
Yes, I spoke to you, often,
But so much, was unspoken,
Unspoken, the words, locked,
Unspoken, but still sought.
Unspoken, in personal heaven,
Floating, fantasizing and then,
You were there, whenever I summoned,
My imagination, you governed.
Unspoken were my words, so many
Unspoken, invisible, unseen,
Unspoken, in silence, heavy,
Unspoken, for eternity.
Unspoken, they were not mouthed,
Words, struggling in thought,
Unspoken, they were indistinct,
In some corner of my heart, they left an imprint.
Unspoken, they remain still, says shadow,
Unspoken, growing, although,
All optimism has evanesced,
The unspoken, still lingers.
11:16 pm, 10th January, 2010.
Unlit
Shaded and rayless is my heart,
Because everything’s unlit in the dark,
Lost in jungle, lurid and misty,
My eyes too, have turned so misty.
It’s moonless out there, without a guide,
Cloudy, murky and no one in sight,
Oh, I wish you had been here,
Holding my hand, helping my steer clear.
I’ve been moving in circles all this while,
This journey is lost, it’s not worthwhile,
Without you here, it’s nothing,
The misery is unending.
I tried to find a way, to find my beacon,
But that was you, and now your begone,
The eagle of my wintry sky, the soaring falcon,
Without you, my path is dark, unlighted..
Tenebrous, vague, unlit,
Is this crumbling spirit,
Without support, genuine,
I am in guilt, withering.
Oh, it’s grown old, the pain,
It comes back to me every day,
I know I have lost my way,
Forever, I am astray.
But even if pain is old,
Its effect increases tenfold,
With every passing second,
Because eternity finds no end.
Come back, angel, show me the way!
Come back my seraph, my world is grey,
Fill it with colour, feed it with hope,
Help me, I’m falling, I want to hold onto your rope.
11:04 pm, 10th January, 2010.
Because everything’s unlit in the dark,
Lost in jungle, lurid and misty,
My eyes too, have turned so misty.
It’s moonless out there, without a guide,
Cloudy, murky and no one in sight,
Oh, I wish you had been here,
Holding my hand, helping my steer clear.
I’ve been moving in circles all this while,
This journey is lost, it’s not worthwhile,
Without you here, it’s nothing,
The misery is unending.
I tried to find a way, to find my beacon,
But that was you, and now your begone,
The eagle of my wintry sky, the soaring falcon,
Without you, my path is dark, unlighted..
Tenebrous, vague, unlit,
Is this crumbling spirit,
Without support, genuine,
I am in guilt, withering.
Oh, it’s grown old, the pain,
It comes back to me every day,
I know I have lost my way,
Forever, I am astray.
But even if pain is old,
Its effect increases tenfold,
With every passing second,
Because eternity finds no end.
Come back, angel, show me the way!
Come back my seraph, my world is grey,
Fill it with colour, feed it with hope,
Help me, I’m falling, I want to hold onto your rope.
11:04 pm, 10th January, 2010.
When I left and didn't.
Do you remember that day when I was just so sad?
Away from you, in distress, clad,
I had thought about how I had to leave,
There was no choice, no reprieve.
The days had inched slowly closer,
And nothing was ever getting better,
It was time to leave time to go,
Time to move, time wouldn’t slow.
The calendar spoke of days, looming,
Nearer and nearer, I wasn’t’ blooming,
I wanted time to die, I wanted to stay,
Frozen here, for another day.
I had no choice, so I began to count,
The days left, I became more alarmed,
And as my distress slowly grew,
I thought I’d confide in you.
It was like that then, instantaneous,
Replies, whenever I always wanted,
I had felt so loved, so wanted,
My spirits, you so gently lifted.
It went wrong today, when I had said,
What happened love? You had responded.
And I could tell you everything,
That happened there and in-between.
It was never awkward, some things from you I kept,
It’s true, something’s I didn’t share,
But that was because I was self-obsessed,
I didn’t mean to hurt you; there were so many things, unsaid.
I wish I could have explained myself a lot better,
I wish it wasn’t this complicated, that things were nicer,
I know it’s a little too late to expect,
I have been so bad, and so many things have been wrecked.
But please forgive, please be my friend,
There should be no pain, make it grand,
Your return, please….my best friend,
Let it not be love or pain, let it be friendship, I pray.
2:52 pm, 9th January, 2010.
Away from you, in distress, clad,
I had thought about how I had to leave,
There was no choice, no reprieve.
The days had inched slowly closer,
And nothing was ever getting better,
It was time to leave time to go,
Time to move, time wouldn’t slow.
The calendar spoke of days, looming,
Nearer and nearer, I wasn’t’ blooming,
I wanted time to die, I wanted to stay,
Frozen here, for another day.
I had no choice, so I began to count,
The days left, I became more alarmed,
And as my distress slowly grew,
I thought I’d confide in you.
It was like that then, instantaneous,
Replies, whenever I always wanted,
I had felt so loved, so wanted,
My spirits, you so gently lifted.
It went wrong today, when I had said,
What happened love? You had responded.
And I could tell you everything,
That happened there and in-between.
It was never awkward, some things from you I kept,
It’s true, something’s I didn’t share,
But that was because I was self-obsessed,
I didn’t mean to hurt you; there were so many things, unsaid.
I wish I could have explained myself a lot better,
I wish it wasn’t this complicated, that things were nicer,
I know it’s a little too late to expect,
I have been so bad, and so many things have been wrecked.
But please forgive, please be my friend,
There should be no pain, make it grand,
Your return, please….my best friend,
Let it not be love or pain, let it be friendship, I pray.
2:52 pm, 9th January, 2010.
Is it wrong, to be my friend?
Is it wrong, to be your friend?
When I said we should be friends, did you find that wrong?
Don’t you think that love, premature,
Can crumble feelings, true?
Dear friend, I’m still a kid, there is a child inside me,
The one that is immature, and is not understanding,
I do not know what love is, or where it comes from,
I do not know how to behave, the chords of life do not strum.
So, what you feel in teenage, is it passing, and irrelevant?
I do not know, my brain is dysfunctional, as it is spent,
It does not know what delusion is and what is myth,
It does not know what feelings to bury, in its imaginary crypt.
I do not know, friend, how to define this,
I do not know, how to be me,
I do not know, what I should do,
How to behave, how to learn, I have no clue!
I’m young still, I have a lot to learn,
I have to toil, respect, to earn,
My logic, I simply cannot abandon,
What this is, I just cannot discern.
I don’t know what I felt for you, I cannot explain,
But all I knew is that for you, I cared,
Let me assume that you were my best friend,
And my best friend, you will stay.
I don’t want to call this love, that would be painful,
Because I don’t know what that is, I don’t know if I’m too young to feel,
I don’t want to hurt anyone, I don’t want to be bad,
I want to be a good citizen, a good daughter.
I want to be a good daughter,
I want to make my parents proud,
I don’t want to cross lines, I don’t want to trip,
But I don’t want to hurt you, either, you are special to me.
So, there is a solution, my logic sees a way,
Why can’t be just be friends, is that impossible?
As best friends, we can share so much and understand,
Laugh, joke and reprimand.
Why does it have to be called love, when you are just nineteen,
An impulsive teenager, I have been,
And although I always speak from the heart, I want you to know,
That you are my best friend, nothing ends tomorrow.
Yes, as best friends, so much can be achieved,
As best friends, we can put it behind, there is nothing to grieve,
Everyone is happy, everyone is pleased,
If the best of friends, we could be.
As best friend, I can stay by your side,
And be the silver lining to your dark clouds,
I can be the best, I can be your shoulder,
Whenever you need me, I can be there.
Being a good friend, does never mean,
That I’m going away, that I will leave,
An effortless relationship, this should be,
So that we may remember it when we are old and laugh it off.
I’m sorry if your hurt, I really truly am!!!
There is so much more, to understand,
I’m young still, I do not know,
What is right, which way to go…
But this much, the elders have told me,
That what you experience in teenage is passing,
Don’t rely, don’t trust it,
So I’m simply listening.
Oh, no, I don’t want you to go away,
Because best friends, we will be, I said,
I said that not to hurt you, but because,
I don’t know how to behave, so I trust my parents.
Isn’t this an easier way?
Isn’t this the choice where there is no pain?
Isn’t this a way to belong in each other?
Through every spring and summer?
To be good, do good, and be happy,
To laugh it off, and never be weepy,
To know no pain, to be numb,
To forget that horrible, empty sensation…
So be my friend, hold my hand,
Please don’t go away, here I stand,
Beseeching your hand, to hold mine,
So as friends, together, we may walk, on my beach sand…..
2:25 pm, 9th January, 2010.
When I said we should be friends, did you find that wrong?
Don’t you think that love, premature,
Can crumble feelings, true?
Dear friend, I’m still a kid, there is a child inside me,
The one that is immature, and is not understanding,
I do not know what love is, or where it comes from,
I do not know how to behave, the chords of life do not strum.
So, what you feel in teenage, is it passing, and irrelevant?
I do not know, my brain is dysfunctional, as it is spent,
It does not know what delusion is and what is myth,
It does not know what feelings to bury, in its imaginary crypt.
I do not know, friend, how to define this,
I do not know, how to be me,
I do not know, what I should do,
How to behave, how to learn, I have no clue!
I’m young still, I have a lot to learn,
I have to toil, respect, to earn,
My logic, I simply cannot abandon,
What this is, I just cannot discern.
I don’t know what I felt for you, I cannot explain,
But all I knew is that for you, I cared,
Let me assume that you were my best friend,
And my best friend, you will stay.
I don’t want to call this love, that would be painful,
Because I don’t know what that is, I don’t know if I’m too young to feel,
I don’t want to hurt anyone, I don’t want to be bad,
I want to be a good citizen, a good daughter.
I want to be a good daughter,
I want to make my parents proud,
I don’t want to cross lines, I don’t want to trip,
But I don’t want to hurt you, either, you are special to me.
So, there is a solution, my logic sees a way,
Why can’t be just be friends, is that impossible?
As best friends, we can share so much and understand,
Laugh, joke and reprimand.
Why does it have to be called love, when you are just nineteen,
An impulsive teenager, I have been,
And although I always speak from the heart, I want you to know,
That you are my best friend, nothing ends tomorrow.
Yes, as best friends, so much can be achieved,
As best friends, we can put it behind, there is nothing to grieve,
Everyone is happy, everyone is pleased,
If the best of friends, we could be.
As best friend, I can stay by your side,
And be the silver lining to your dark clouds,
I can be the best, I can be your shoulder,
Whenever you need me, I can be there.
Being a good friend, does never mean,
That I’m going away, that I will leave,
An effortless relationship, this should be,
So that we may remember it when we are old and laugh it off.
I’m sorry if your hurt, I really truly am!!!
There is so much more, to understand,
I’m young still, I do not know,
What is right, which way to go…
But this much, the elders have told me,
That what you experience in teenage is passing,
Don’t rely, don’t trust it,
So I’m simply listening.
Oh, no, I don’t want you to go away,
Because best friends, we will be, I said,
I said that not to hurt you, but because,
I don’t know how to behave, so I trust my parents.
Isn’t this an easier way?
Isn’t this the choice where there is no pain?
Isn’t this a way to belong in each other?
Through every spring and summer?
To be good, do good, and be happy,
To laugh it off, and never be weepy,
To know no pain, to be numb,
To forget that horrible, empty sensation…
So be my friend, hold my hand,
Please don’t go away, here I stand,
Beseeching your hand, to hold mine,
So as friends, together, we may walk, on my beach sand…..
2:25 pm, 9th January, 2010.
Lost my Rhyme?
Lost my Rhyme
The song bird has lost her rhyme,
Although she tries with everything she has got,
She forgot sentence structure and correct grammar
Everything is as incorrect as its wrong.
How can she stay rational, when so much is going on?
And not going on? How can she stay stable?
How can she remember to rhyme,
When her voice only wants her to screech, unanimously?
A poem which lacks rhyme is like rice, without flavor,
Like raw vegetable, not boiled, like stale rancid food.
No spice, nothing that stays as a twang on your tongue,
No pepper, no cardamom, no cinnamon.
Aha, but how can I rhyme, friend, when I have lost all reason?
How can I rhyme, how can I think?
How can I remain calm, without losing it?
Losing the rhyme, and the mind?
How can I pretend, how can I keep it all balanced,
How can I tell myself all is for the better?
Because, clearly, it is not al for the better,
Because when you leave, even my personal sun fades away.
No, I cannot rhyme now, it’s become so hard,
All I desire is for you to listen, to hear me out,
Listen to my prayer, hope you understand my torment,
I’m suffering for what I did, so I guess life’s so fair.
But I realized my mistake, friend, I really did,
If nobody ever forgives me, what’s the whole point?
What’s the purpose, of living, when you are so venomously hated?
How can I justify my existence?
My logic defied existence, that day you left,
But I guess it was predictable that you would behave that way,
After all I did, who would not?
Abandon me, I know it hurt a lot.
Aha, see, the rhyme is returning,
I can find my sentences again, it’s this way, turning,
When my intent is sincere, I think nothing is impossible,
Because it comes from the heart, my repeating prayer.
I didn’t lose my rhyme.
I shan’t until it’s time.
Until, I reach a 100……the rhyme is not leaving me.
It’s staying here, I’m not allowing.
1:37 pm, 9th January, 2010.
The song bird has lost her rhyme,
Although she tries with everything she has got,
She forgot sentence structure and correct grammar
Everything is as incorrect as its wrong.
How can she stay rational, when so much is going on?
And not going on? How can she stay stable?
How can she remember to rhyme,
When her voice only wants her to screech, unanimously?
A poem which lacks rhyme is like rice, without flavor,
Like raw vegetable, not boiled, like stale rancid food.
No spice, nothing that stays as a twang on your tongue,
No pepper, no cardamom, no cinnamon.
Aha, but how can I rhyme, friend, when I have lost all reason?
How can I rhyme, how can I think?
How can I remain calm, without losing it?
Losing the rhyme, and the mind?
How can I pretend, how can I keep it all balanced,
How can I tell myself all is for the better?
Because, clearly, it is not al for the better,
Because when you leave, even my personal sun fades away.
No, I cannot rhyme now, it’s become so hard,
All I desire is for you to listen, to hear me out,
Listen to my prayer, hope you understand my torment,
I’m suffering for what I did, so I guess life’s so fair.
But I realized my mistake, friend, I really did,
If nobody ever forgives me, what’s the whole point?
What’s the purpose, of living, when you are so venomously hated?
How can I justify my existence?
My logic defied existence, that day you left,
But I guess it was predictable that you would behave that way,
After all I did, who would not?
Abandon me, I know it hurt a lot.
Aha, see, the rhyme is returning,
I can find my sentences again, it’s this way, turning,
When my intent is sincere, I think nothing is impossible,
Because it comes from the heart, my repeating prayer.
I didn’t lose my rhyme.
I shan’t until it’s time.
Until, I reach a 100……the rhyme is not leaving me.
It’s staying here, I’m not allowing.
1:37 pm, 9th January, 2010.
Best Friend
Best Friend, you were to me,
A lot more than you could ever have guessed,
You meant a lot; I wanted you to know,
Although I haven’t openly expressed.
Best Friend, you were to me,
And sometimes, a lot more,
Than just a friend, what should I call it?
I can’t give a name to it, even I don’t know.
Best Friend, you were to me, the one I could trust,
The person I knew I could confide in,
Cheery, happy and someone so different,
With you by my side, my confidence was never thin.
My sunny side you were, my better side,
You were a part of me, within, you dwelled,
I called to you in whisper, whenever I needed you,
And support you would give, selflessly, without a word.
You were the best friend anyone could ever have,
The sort of person I knew I could call up anytime,
To hear words of comfort,
But now, look what’s happened….I can’t reach you, even if I so desired.
Do you hate me now, friend?
Can’t you be as understanding as you once were?
Can’t you see how I’m falling apart?
So much so that I cannot rhyme too?
That is how upset I am, that I committed the mistake I did,
That is how sorry I am, I’ve lost a lot.
You are really great, friends, my words don’t give anybody the whole picture,
But know that I thought of you as a best friend.
And more than best friend, you became.
1:11 pm, January 09, 2010.
A lot more than you could ever have guessed,
You meant a lot; I wanted you to know,
Although I haven’t openly expressed.
Best Friend, you were to me,
And sometimes, a lot more,
Than just a friend, what should I call it?
I can’t give a name to it, even I don’t know.
Best Friend, you were to me, the one I could trust,
The person I knew I could confide in,
Cheery, happy and someone so different,
With you by my side, my confidence was never thin.
My sunny side you were, my better side,
You were a part of me, within, you dwelled,
I called to you in whisper, whenever I needed you,
And support you would give, selflessly, without a word.
You were the best friend anyone could ever have,
The sort of person I knew I could call up anytime,
To hear words of comfort,
But now, look what’s happened….I can’t reach you, even if I so desired.
Do you hate me now, friend?
Can’t you be as understanding as you once were?
Can’t you see how I’m falling apart?
So much so that I cannot rhyme too?
That is how upset I am, that I committed the mistake I did,
That is how sorry I am, I’ve lost a lot.
You are really great, friends, my words don’t give anybody the whole picture,
But know that I thought of you as a best friend.
And more than best friend, you became.
1:11 pm, January 09, 2010.
It's all different and yet the same.
It’s all different and yet the same,
It’s all gone, and this way came,
It’s dead, and has been reborn,
It’s another puzzle, yet again.
It’s different, without you here,
But it’s the same with you in my mind, m’dear.
It’s all gone, you aren’t talking,
This way comes sorrow, in it, I’m writhing.
It’s dead and gone, your trust,
But mine has been reborn, I understood I was unjust.
It’s a puzzle, now revealed,
The hidden meaning, dissected, for you to see.
I’ll always care for you, please know this much,
I’ll always hope for the best for you, when you need me, I’ll be your crutch.
No matter what happens, you’ll find a friend in me,
Because I never let go of best friends, I will not flee.
Yes, it’s different now, my world has changed,
But in my memory, it’s all the same,
I know our friendship has been considered lost,
With you, I don’t want to lose touch,
Hey, it’s easy, if you only forgive,
Life doesn’t have to consist of endless misery,
Life is beautiful, even I realize,
But it would have been magical, if you opened your eyes.
Even pain has beauty, beautiful is every experience,
Pain has intensity, as does repentance,
Aha, but I cannot love it, as I loved you,
Because pain is a burning flame, it isn’t the soothing blue.
So, now, my life’s different and all the same,
You are gone, and pain, this way, came,
My puzzle has been revealed, without a clue,
But even my clever puzzles feel useless when not solved by you.
11:57 pm, 5th January, 2010.
It’s all gone, and this way came,
It’s dead, and has been reborn,
It’s another puzzle, yet again.
It’s different, without you here,
But it’s the same with you in my mind, m’dear.
It’s all gone, you aren’t talking,
This way comes sorrow, in it, I’m writhing.
It’s dead and gone, your trust,
But mine has been reborn, I understood I was unjust.
It’s a puzzle, now revealed,
The hidden meaning, dissected, for you to see.
I’ll always care for you, please know this much,
I’ll always hope for the best for you, when you need me, I’ll be your crutch.
No matter what happens, you’ll find a friend in me,
Because I never let go of best friends, I will not flee.
Yes, it’s different now, my world has changed,
But in my memory, it’s all the same,
I know our friendship has been considered lost,
With you, I don’t want to lose touch,
Hey, it’s easy, if you only forgive,
Life doesn’t have to consist of endless misery,
Life is beautiful, even I realize,
But it would have been magical, if you opened your eyes.
Even pain has beauty, beautiful is every experience,
Pain has intensity, as does repentance,
Aha, but I cannot love it, as I loved you,
Because pain is a burning flame, it isn’t the soothing blue.
So, now, my life’s different and all the same,
You are gone, and pain, this way, came,
My puzzle has been revealed, without a clue,
But even my clever puzzles feel useless when not solved by you.
11:57 pm, 5th January, 2010.
Promises
Best Friend, I thought, you’d always stay,
You would be there, come what may,
I thought it was an unspoken promise,
The oath, in silence taken, and the one, cherished.
Aha, do such promises ever hold?
I understood, when I saw life unfold,
That promises, shouldn’t ever be imagined,
They should be spoken, in word, affirmed.
If god gave me but one last chance, the very last promise,
I would take a stance, and express,
I would promise, never to hurt you again,
Even if consequences so demanded.
I would promise, never to let you cry,
To keep you happy, I would try,
Because you should continue to keep that smile,
I would promise, I’m your best friend, that’s why.
You might deny, that I ever existed,
You might say that only pain I gave,
But give me another chance, I want to prove,
That this one last promise, I will keep.
I want to promise god, that I’ll try to protect,
I want to promise him that I will not let anything affect,
The cheerful disposition of yours,
I will not let sorrow mar.
I want to finally make these promises friend,
And to keep them, I intend,
I know I have broken a few bonds,
But I promise you from today, I’ll break none.
You don’t have to believe my sorry,
You don’t have to see,
But your heart knows sympathy,
And today, I say this is not an idle promise, I hope you’ll believe.
11:41 pm 5th January, 2010.
You would be there, come what may,
I thought it was an unspoken promise,
The oath, in silence taken, and the one, cherished.
Aha, do such promises ever hold?
I understood, when I saw life unfold,
That promises, shouldn’t ever be imagined,
They should be spoken, in word, affirmed.
If god gave me but one last chance, the very last promise,
I would take a stance, and express,
I would promise, never to hurt you again,
Even if consequences so demanded.
I would promise, never to let you cry,
To keep you happy, I would try,
Because you should continue to keep that smile,
I would promise, I’m your best friend, that’s why.
You might deny, that I ever existed,
You might say that only pain I gave,
But give me another chance, I want to prove,
That this one last promise, I will keep.
I want to promise god, that I’ll try to protect,
I want to promise him that I will not let anything affect,
The cheerful disposition of yours,
I will not let sorrow mar.
I want to finally make these promises friend,
And to keep them, I intend,
I know I have broken a few bonds,
But I promise you from today, I’ll break none.
You don’t have to believe my sorry,
You don’t have to see,
But your heart knows sympathy,
And today, I say this is not an idle promise, I hope you’ll believe.
11:41 pm 5th January, 2010.
Loreley
Loreley, she hath been christened,
Born of the water, of sea, of ocean,
Mythical, like enchantress was she,
And she rode waves, horsing.
She was apparent, in the sea’s every melody,
She gathered in tumult, in froth, she reveled,
In the oceanic swell, she stayed,
She was fluid, here, there and everywhere.
The world knew no power, like that played by Loreley,
In sacred springs and brooks, lingered she,
Hers was a spirit, wild and free,
But she fell in love, and life changed, for Loreley.
She was born of myth, of some ancient imagination,
Wanted was she, she ignited the cognition.
Her spirit is like mine own, fluid like the sea,
She knew no betrayal, loving was she.
Aha, but affection changed her, monster she became,
Consumed, possessive and half-insane,
The innocence was gone, demon took over,
She succumbed so soon, miscreation she became.
With regret, sorrow, her life changed shade,
And the welcoming coolness of ocean, scalding hot became,
From, ocean, her home, she did cast off,
And then, cast away, she became.
She is now crumbling, imagination doesn’t hold,
Even the mind that conjured, has spurned her,
The Rhine, left Loreley, full of hope,
And now bites the malady, she cannot cope.
11:29 pm, 5th January, 2010.
Born of the water, of sea, of ocean,
Mythical, like enchantress was she,
And she rode waves, horsing.
She was apparent, in the sea’s every melody,
She gathered in tumult, in froth, she reveled,
In the oceanic swell, she stayed,
She was fluid, here, there and everywhere.
The world knew no power, like that played by Loreley,
In sacred springs and brooks, lingered she,
Hers was a spirit, wild and free,
But she fell in love, and life changed, for Loreley.
She was born of myth, of some ancient imagination,
Wanted was she, she ignited the cognition.
Her spirit is like mine own, fluid like the sea,
She knew no betrayal, loving was she.
Aha, but affection changed her, monster she became,
Consumed, possessive and half-insane,
The innocence was gone, demon took over,
She succumbed so soon, miscreation she became.
With regret, sorrow, her life changed shade,
And the welcoming coolness of ocean, scalding hot became,
From, ocean, her home, she did cast off,
And then, cast away, she became.
She is now crumbling, imagination doesn’t hold,
Even the mind that conjured, has spurned her,
The Rhine, left Loreley, full of hope,
And now bites the malady, she cannot cope.
11:29 pm, 5th January, 2010.
Voice Within
Within you, a voice you keep,
From inside, hear it speak,
Hark! Now, carefully listen,
Hear it breathe, from within.
It’s within you; it’s not a noise,
It’s a low wisher, a slow voice,
It’s young and pleading, please listen,
To the voice, that speaks from within.
The voice is low, but lacks not substance,
It speaks wisdom of ages, of knowledge, intense,
Shhh!, the words are not uttered from afar,
You can hear it, it is now so near.
Did you think you could erase?
Now the clever voice says,
It’s the voice from within,
The one that lingers, unseen.
It has no shape, no structure,
It has no frame, it is not a creature,
It is only a voice, so friendless,
It is only a voice, so helpless…
It is so weak now, shaking,
It is so hurt now, fumbling,
It knows only words, through them, it speaks,
The one, that is animate, within…
Voice, in you, is locked,
Voice in your throat, is trapped,
It is of another, yet the same,
It’s not yours, and yours to claim.
It’s the voice, invisible, before unheard,
It’s the voice, that message conveys,
It’s a subtle voice, please I prithee, listen,
A sorry bespeaks the voice, from within.
The voice speaks, only one word,
Again and again, it repeats what it said,
Catch it, from the voice, snatch it away,
Accept it’s sorry, and the guilt, slay…
Please.
11:02 pm, 4th January, 2010.
From inside, hear it speak,
Hark! Now, carefully listen,
Hear it breathe, from within.
It’s within you; it’s not a noise,
It’s a low wisher, a slow voice,
It’s young and pleading, please listen,
To the voice, that speaks from within.
The voice is low, but lacks not substance,
It speaks wisdom of ages, of knowledge, intense,
Shhh!, the words are not uttered from afar,
You can hear it, it is now so near.
Did you think you could erase?
Now the clever voice says,
It’s the voice from within,
The one that lingers, unseen.
It has no shape, no structure,
It has no frame, it is not a creature,
It is only a voice, so friendless,
It is only a voice, so helpless…
It is so weak now, shaking,
It is so hurt now, fumbling,
It knows only words, through them, it speaks,
The one, that is animate, within…
Voice, in you, is locked,
Voice in your throat, is trapped,
It is of another, yet the same,
It’s not yours, and yours to claim.
It’s the voice, invisible, before unheard,
It’s the voice, that message conveys,
It’s a subtle voice, please I prithee, listen,
A sorry bespeaks the voice, from within.
The voice speaks, only one word,
Again and again, it repeats what it said,
Catch it, from the voice, snatch it away,
Accept it’s sorry, and the guilt, slay…
Please.
11:02 pm, 4th January, 2010.
Penance
The penance has resumed, it shan’t cease,
I shall continue to knee,
Rigid is the penance, prayer is fervent,
Whatever happens, I shan’t end the chant.
The words shall flow, uninhibited,
They shan’t be caged, they shall be liberated,
Impassioned, the penance shall continue,
I shall resume, shall pursue,
Yes, deep is the penance, resolute,
Rapturous, and repentant, with concern, absolute,
Concentrated is the penance, it’s no light a chant,
It’s not for the weaklings, it’s dense, intense.
I shan’t forget, my regret I show,
Because honesty is everything, and truths should be told,
I’m not afraid to tell the world I’m wrong,
Because that is what makes me human.
I’m not afraid to confess my mistakes,
I’m but regretful, for the blunder I made,
My penance, is for you, and for you alone,
For you, I shall write in blood, today, and tomorrow.
My penance is serious, and I shall atone,
For sins, committed, a sorry song, I shall continue to groan,
Even if voice leaves, even if I die,
I want you to know, I’m sorry, I lied.
My penance is head strong and very patient,
My penance is willful, determined,
My penance has zeal, my penance knows hurt,
My penance sees pain, it isn’t inert.
My penance recognizes my sorry,
Remorse, it also sees,
Penance, is for you, for your blessing,
The penance shall resume, in new beginning.
Penance shan’t stop, until the words you say,
Penance shan’t end, until on my head, your divine hand you lay,
And free me of guilt, eating every fiber,
Oh, I am penitent, liberate me, my angel, you are the one, divine.
10:43 pm, 4th January, 2010.
I shall continue to knee,
Rigid is the penance, prayer is fervent,
Whatever happens, I shan’t end the chant.
The words shall flow, uninhibited,
They shan’t be caged, they shall be liberated,
Impassioned, the penance shall continue,
I shall resume, shall pursue,
Yes, deep is the penance, resolute,
Rapturous, and repentant, with concern, absolute,
Concentrated is the penance, it’s no light a chant,
It’s not for the weaklings, it’s dense, intense.
I shan’t forget, my regret I show,
Because honesty is everything, and truths should be told,
I’m not afraid to tell the world I’m wrong,
Because that is what makes me human.
I’m not afraid to confess my mistakes,
I’m but regretful, for the blunder I made,
My penance, is for you, and for you alone,
For you, I shall write in blood, today, and tomorrow.
My penance is serious, and I shall atone,
For sins, committed, a sorry song, I shall continue to groan,
Even if voice leaves, even if I die,
I want you to know, I’m sorry, I lied.
My penance is head strong and very patient,
My penance is willful, determined,
My penance has zeal, my penance knows hurt,
My penance sees pain, it isn’t inert.
My penance recognizes my sorry,
Remorse, it also sees,
Penance, is for you, for your blessing,
The penance shall resume, in new beginning.
Penance shan’t stop, until the words you say,
Penance shan’t end, until on my head, your divine hand you lay,
And free me of guilt, eating every fiber,
Oh, I am penitent, liberate me, my angel, you are the one, divine.
10:43 pm, 4th January, 2010.
World Apart
I had thought that for once, I had found a good start,
With you, I had dealt my cards,
Yes, I had never thought,
That we would be a world apart.
No, the idea never crossed,
I never thought you’d depart,
Because of me, you were an integral part,
But now, we are a world apart.
Did you know how much life you infused?
Into such a shaken soul, so confused?
Did you know the confidence you gave?
But now, we are a world apart.
I thought we belonged in the same paradise,
I never thought I would lie,
So badly, I thought we were the same entity,
But now, we are a world apart.
Oh, there was supposed to be,
No secrets between us, but it was me,
Who had kept a few, and turned you down,
And now, we are a world apart.
Oh, I thought life was a gift, and that this was such a fine experience,
I thought that you were such a good friend!
You meant so much, I cannot say,
And now, we are a world apart.
You were so endearing, I cannot express,
So wonderful, oh yes!
You stood so high, I can only remember,
Because we are a world apart.
We found no separation, before,
Even if we were oceans apart, we were close,
It didn’t divide, the mountains and seas,
But I guess, we are now a world apart.
We are in the same earth, sharing the same place,
We are in the same heaven and hell,
We see the same sun, and the very same stars,
But we are still, a world apart....
9:48 pm, 4th January, 2010.
With you, I had dealt my cards,
Yes, I had never thought,
That we would be a world apart.
No, the idea never crossed,
I never thought you’d depart,
Because of me, you were an integral part,
But now, we are a world apart.
Did you know how much life you infused?
Into such a shaken soul, so confused?
Did you know the confidence you gave?
But now, we are a world apart.
I thought we belonged in the same paradise,
I never thought I would lie,
So badly, I thought we were the same entity,
But now, we are a world apart.
Oh, there was supposed to be,
No secrets between us, but it was me,
Who had kept a few, and turned you down,
And now, we are a world apart.
Oh, I thought life was a gift, and that this was such a fine experience,
I thought that you were such a good friend!
You meant so much, I cannot say,
And now, we are a world apart.
You were so endearing, I cannot express,
So wonderful, oh yes!
You stood so high, I can only remember,
Because we are a world apart.
We found no separation, before,
Even if we were oceans apart, we were close,
It didn’t divide, the mountains and seas,
But I guess, we are now a world apart.
We are in the same earth, sharing the same place,
We are in the same heaven and hell,
We see the same sun, and the very same stars,
But we are still, a world apart....
9:48 pm, 4th January, 2010.
Storybook
I once had with me a storybook,
But it got stolen, and others mistook,
That it had stayed with me, that it was mine,
They didn’t’ notice, but devastated was I.
My storybook held my life,
My soul, my breath, recorded my every strife,
My storybook was so unique,
It had been written in universal language of love, it wasn’t Latin and Greek.
My storybook, I had held so close,
I had shared, my life’s highs and lows,
Everything, my storybook knew,
To my storybook, nothing was new.
My storybook, was like a dairy,
My secret-keeper, it brighted my day, daily,
My storybook was a pleasure to read,
My storybook was everything to me!
My storybook, has so cleverly been thieved,
My story’s gone with it, to the winds, thrown,
All my pages, have all been torn,
And to insanity, my lament has grown.
The storybook was the crown of my shelf,
He was just me in words, myself,
The story book, had never yellowed,
It was such a beautiful book, love,it sowed.
Oh god, I miss my storybook,
One, that the robber took,
The robber was named mistake,
And anguish, in me, he did wake.
9:29 pm, 4th January, 2009.
But it got stolen, and others mistook,
That it had stayed with me, that it was mine,
They didn’t’ notice, but devastated was I.
My storybook held my life,
My soul, my breath, recorded my every strife,
My storybook was so unique,
It had been written in universal language of love, it wasn’t Latin and Greek.
My storybook, I had held so close,
I had shared, my life’s highs and lows,
Everything, my storybook knew,
To my storybook, nothing was new.
My storybook, was like a dairy,
My secret-keeper, it brighted my day, daily,
My storybook was a pleasure to read,
My storybook was everything to me!
My storybook, has so cleverly been thieved,
My story’s gone with it, to the winds, thrown,
All my pages, have all been torn,
And to insanity, my lament has grown.
The storybook was the crown of my shelf,
He was just me in words, myself,
The story book, had never yellowed,
It was such a beautiful book, love,it sowed.
Oh god, I miss my storybook,
One, that the robber took,
The robber was named mistake,
And anguish, in me, he did wake.
9:29 pm, 4th January, 2009.
Know that I’ll be here, m’dear.
With a full stop, a sentence finds its end.
And rivers disappear around the bend.
Books close with final chapters,
But my chant is unending, m’dear.
Well, the sun might one day begone,
There might never be another dawn,
All the earthly ice might melt,
But my voice shall ring, I’ll still be here.
World might collapse in tremor,
Under tropic sun, all might wither,
And the heart might lose its cheer,
But know that, I’ll be here, m’dear.
Waves might break,
The world might shake,
Hope might stay bleak
But know that I’ll be here, m’dear.
Hurricanes may whip,
So many may leave,
Hearts may grieve,
But know that I’ll be here, m’dear.
Rainfalls may be torrential,
Eroding the world, in single downpour,
Cyclones may descend,
But know that I’ll be here, m’dear.
Sandstorms may rage,
In play, might mischievous lightning engage,
Aurora, in brilliance, might hamper,
But know that I’ll be here, m’dear.
They might dig my grave,
And all might return to place of origin,
I may cease to breathe, and time may win
But know that I’ll be here, m’dear.
9:03 pm, 4th January, 2010.
And rivers disappear around the bend.
Books close with final chapters,
But my chant is unending, m’dear.
Well, the sun might one day begone,
There might never be another dawn,
All the earthly ice might melt,
But my voice shall ring, I’ll still be here.
World might collapse in tremor,
Under tropic sun, all might wither,
And the heart might lose its cheer,
But know that, I’ll be here, m’dear.
Waves might break,
The world might shake,
Hope might stay bleak
But know that I’ll be here, m’dear.
Hurricanes may whip,
So many may leave,
Hearts may grieve,
But know that I’ll be here, m’dear.
Rainfalls may be torrential,
Eroding the world, in single downpour,
Cyclones may descend,
But know that I’ll be here, m’dear.
Sandstorms may rage,
In play, might mischievous lightning engage,
Aurora, in brilliance, might hamper,
But know that I’ll be here, m’dear.
They might dig my grave,
And all might return to place of origin,
I may cease to breathe, and time may win
But know that I’ll be here, m’dear.
9:03 pm, 4th January, 2010.
Singing Along
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About Me
- Shadow
- ""Beauty is truth, truth beauty," – that is all Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know..." said Keats. That, is the essence to the songbird's poetry. Welcome to my perch!